I would appreciate any help. I am feeling emotionally, physically, psychically/spiritually stuck. I’m taking 20 units at my local community college and don’t have a clue as to what I want to do. I am not working at the moment.
I feel that all of the unsolicited advice and opinions and criticism that I’ve been receiving are really weighing me down. I have been trying to conceive for the past 2 years, and then before that for the previous 7 (I lost my two pregnancies one at 1 month gestation and one at 5 months gestation). I’m feeling so overwhelmed and I’m afraid I’m going to lose my mind. I’m still coping with the life-changing losses and pregnant women seem to be drawn to me for some reason, so no matter where I go, I am forced to face blissfully ignorant mothers-to-be, while grieving and mourning my children is the only thing my heart can do. This has been going on for the past 2 years and I’m really, finally, truly at a loss now, i want so desperately to just give up.
My mother is telling me to get a job and seek fertility treatments in mexico, does that sound ludicrous to anyone else? I’m feeling so much pressure and grief and confusion right now that I cannot tell which side is up and which side is down. I want to crawl into a cave in the mountains of south america somewhere and never come out. This pressure has manifested itself as constant heaviness in my chest and a constant tightness in my uterus.
Can anyone see if there is hope for me? Where do I begin? What can I do? I’m so confused and just plain sad. I’m afraid that I don’t have much more fight in me. If anyone can tell me what they see in my future or give me some sort of guidance, I could really use it right now. Thanks.
It is really more important for you to decide what you want to want to do in regard to your career. It is such a shame that others sometimes think they know what is best for someone, not considering the individual’s goals, skills, or preferences. Once you have an idea of what type of job you would like to have, then you could modify your curriculum.
If you can get to a place where you can start putting your own needs first, you should begin to relax. Once you begin to feel contentment, there is a possiblity that you will conceive a child and carry it to full term.
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