Not really sure where to start but I’m bipolar and I’m struggling. I have a sad past. Right now I can’t describe it I can’t hold a job and I live with mom and dad and there really is no support system. I don’t know why I’m so interested in this stuff. I’m a Christian. Just wanting things to be normal but I know I’m anything but normal. I don’t if it’s comfort or the fact the I was abused and up until now I’ve been ignoring thinking that it doesn’t affect me but it has and it does. I’ve just want to think that everything is fine when I know it’s not. I don’t remember a lot about the abuse. I remember being teased and people throwing things at me in youth group. Then when I got sick I was neglected the church says you’re faking you can be better stuff like that. I’m scared all the time. Scared that one day I’ll be homeless. When mom and dad die I mean I know that’s a long time from now. Everybody thinks I feel sorry for myself, but I don’t feel sorry for myself. I’m just confused by a lot right now. And what makes things worse is not having anybody to talk to. And no doubt I’ll have problems talking to the church about things for obvious reasons.so I know we need to dig. Biggest question being why am I not healing? What is keeping me from getting better that’s why I’m here. Is to be read at and get better. I figured there might be people who have experience working with mental illness and I would say I have very very severe spiritual trauma as well due to the abuse and neglect. I may not remember it but I do know it affects me. So that’s it. I know it’s a part of me but I never talked about it. Please tell me there’s something that can be done.
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