- November 29, 2011 at 4:37 am #6527
I met this guy 2 weeks ago and we went on 2 dates. We had incredible chemistry and he seemed different from the bad guys I usually date. He texted me on friday asking me if I thought he ditched me when he went home with his friends while we were at a bar on wednesday. I said no he just left with the people he came with and I had already been there with other people. Then I asked him if he was free that night. He said he had a guys night planned. Then I asked if he would be free tomorrow and he never responded. I haven’t heard from him since. I don’t understand what happened. I got really excited about this one and then he just stops talking to me. Is he going to contact me at all to apologize and try to continue dating me? Im just starting to give up on love and have become very bitter about it because I have been hurt so many times I just need a little help.
Thank you!November 29, 2011 at 7:00 pm #7821
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- Super Participant
Welcome to the forums! I sense that this guy might be experiencing a case of “cold feet”. He likes you very much but he might feel that things were progressing a bit too rapidly. He obviously is concerned about how you perceive his behavior. He was concerned enough to text you to make sure that you didn’t think he ditched you when he saw you unexpectedly. He might be kind of “old school” in the sense that he prefers to do the asking to make dates. So you might do well to just wait to see what happens. You don’t want to appear to be too overly anxious. Guys can sense that in a woman and they tend to think that they don’t have to work as hard to get a date.
Please keep in touch to let us know how things are going for you. Best wishes!
🙂November 29, 2011 at 7:40 pm #7822
Thanks for your response! Unfortunately I messaged him on facebook saying “I guess you are just another asshole, Im sick of being ignored bye”. I was very angry. I got angry because the last guy I dated treated me that way and it was a big red flag. Im not very patient and after he didnt text me it made it seem like he didnt want to see me. I was an anxious mess and went into a deep depression saturday night. This wasn’t just because of him it was just being dissapointed with guys in general. I feel like I care too much and that tends to scare guys away. I just dont know how to tone it down. I know if I want a healthy relationship this needs to change I just dont know how to keep myself from getting so anxious.November 29, 2011 at 9:25 pm #7823
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- New Participant
“The wolves will always attack the weak part of the herd.” I am no way blaming you for this man’s behavior, or the behavior of the people in your previous relationships. But psychically, I am sensing a pattern here, something occurring deep within you. When I focus on the rest of your life, the life outside of the relationship area, I sense a lot of imbalance. What about your support group, family, your own intuition, your professional life, your spiritually, your self esteem, your life passions, having a fun hobby you enjoy, your connection with a higher power, your goals, your connection with nature, and what about physical exercise? As I was psychically scanning through all of these area in your life, I kept seeing many big inadequacies. When we are in weakened state from the “inside out,” we tend to attract people and situations which reflect this. My psychic sense is that the last man treated you much in the way he did because he felt like he could get away with it, because you are “that type of person.” What about instead of giving up on men (btw, there are some great one’s out there), instead of sitting in depression, instead of fixating on why people are treating you in these ways, what about spending some time into getting your life balance back, strengthening yourself from the inside out? The more strength you have from the inside out, the better situations (relationships) you will attract into your life. And when you change, people will treat you differently: more respect and less abusively. And when things don’t work out, as this will happen sometimes, it won’t be so traumatic and depressing. You will bounce back easier and more quickly. Maybe the universe is sending you a signal that something isn’t right, maybe there is something that you need to change. You think? What is the common denominator in all the relationship situations you are talking about; well, the common denominator is you. Take the pain you are experiencing and use it as a motivator to make some changes in your life. Break the pattern! Dale has a great program for getting your life together: http://www.lifeleap.org/mastery/ and it’s very inexpensive. I am no way trying to sell you on anything. It’s your business what you do, just do something. Find a good counselor, find a meditation class locally in your area, a women’s group, something. One last thin for now: I kept getting psychic images of you being drawn to work with kids, probably teenagers, in some type of situation where you are helping them. It could something as simple as volunteering at a local shelter or boys and girls club. I go a psychic sense that this is something that you would enjoy. Sometimes the best thing we can do to heal ourselves is to step in and help some other people. Please let me know your thoughts on what I have discussed and let me know if you have any further questions.November 29, 2011 at 10:56 pm #7824
I am seeing a counsler at my college right now because I can’t afford to pay for one. My family life and friends are very stable but my self-esteem is at its lowest its ever been I feel so much pain its hard to focus on anything else. Im really starting not to care about anything and I just want to sleep all the time. I want to get better but I do feel like ive dig myself a really deep hole and its going to take a lot to fix it. Im not saying im not going to I just wish I could receive more help. I feel like I would need to see a therapist a few times a week to really work on it, but obviously that isnt able to happen. I also feel like I am starting to become suicidal and it really scares me. My counsler and my parents suggested to stop dating for a bit and at first it was hard to agree with but im starting to realize that if I dont take a break its going to get worse.
You were right about working with kids because thats what I want to do. Right now I am going to school for psychology and planning on getting my masters in school counsleing. My dream is to work in a middle school because that was a very hard time for me. Its weird because I can help others but I can’t seem to help myself.
Thank you for taking the time to read this I really appreciate it and Im so glad I found this site.November 29, 2011 at 11:29 pm #7825
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- New Participant
If I was accurate with my psychic insights about you working with kids (gee, what’s the chance of me just guessing that), maybe this should give you more or a reason to consider that other points that I made. I’m not a know-it-all, but I do believe I locked onto some important issues. I’m glad that you are seeing a counselor, although in my experience, this can be limiting as far as results. It has its place, and you should probably keep going for now, but counseling is about listening to the therapist’s opinions and it’s about you just talking and talking. Meditation will help you heal much more quickly and help you get control of the suffering you are going through. I can guarantee this. It will give you what you need to make it though all this crap you are going through. The real change will occur on the work you do yourself, from the inside out. Again, I would check out Dale’s course on this website. I went through the training and it helped me more than any therapist, seminar, book, or trying to ignore and escape from my problems. Shucks, if you’re broke, you can get it for free just by continuing to participate in this community. I think this page spills the beans: http://www.lifeleap.org/community/points.php. In regards to “Its weird because I can help others but I can’t seem to help myself,” I would say phooey. You are seeing a counselor and you are reaching out in this community. Taking these initial steps is the most difficult part in healing and you have done this. So give yourself some damn credit because you deserve it. Immediately, I would recommend lots of good hard physical exercise. I want you to sweat for at least 1 hour a day. This will help dissolve some of that heavy depression you are going through. Get it out of you. You will also sleep better at night. People who exercise a lot, i.e. running, at the gym, don’t tend to get depressed. This is a scientific fact. You’ve got to get some better habits going@!@! If if you don’t feel like, who cares, push yourself, push yourself, push yourself, push yourself, push yourself, push yourself, push yourself! As you take one step at a time, things will get better, you will grow from this, and you will learn how to keep yourself from getting in this debilitating situation that you are currently experiencing. It may feel like it can’t get better, there’s no reason to go on, it’s so so bad, but remember, these are just feelings. Your feelings will trick you. Fight to get control of them instead of letting them control you. Let me know if there is any things else I can do to help and keep us updated on your progress.
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