2 years on and still dreaming of my loss.

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    For the past 2 years, I have been constantly thinking of my ex. I did not want to break up with her, but at the time I was going through what I still think was a mental breakdown. I still think of her every day and still dream of her.

    I have spoken to a lot of Psychics, but seems to be the same thing. Different dates of when she will get in contact with me again. My own mother does readings, she seems to be more on the money with what may occur. It seems more accurate coming from her then anyone else as I still feel my mother harbours animosity towards my ex. But….I still love my ex, I have known that since the day I first saw her. I am far from perfect, how can I have the arrogance to judge someone. Someone that had a bad childhood and carries that with her everywhere.

    To be honest, I don’t know why I am even posting this. I feel so lost lately. I have had a few flings but only 1.5 years after breaking up, I always felt like it would be cheating on her (a person that isn’t even there!, How stupid is that, loyalty to nothing).

    Every time I end up being involved with anyone, I end it as soon as possible.

    Sometimes it feels like I can feel what she is thinking and feeling and sometimes I feel so much emotion (sadness or otherwise), but it doesn’t feel like its mine! Like I am borrowing it, or feeling someone else’s. It can happen even when I am just walking to work.

    I still wonder, did she ever feel anything for me. Does she still? Was I the reason she was cutting herself? Is she already in maybe a 3rd relationship since me? Was I only there so she didn’t feel lonely?

    I still feel so distraught. Its been over two years and I still think and dream of her. Still, remember holding her when she fell asleep.

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    Sounds like you are having a really tough time with this. I do get a sense she still cares some and thinks about you, but she’s pushed it down. She’s hiding from it. Escaping into other people. My psychic hunch says slim chance she could come back, but it still could happen. Even if she did, how would that really work out for you? Watch out for blowing a lot of money paying for psychic future predictions. Things can change. The future isn’t set. Also, suffering is optional. If you decide you want to move on and actually create a life for yourself, you can. You may have to get some training, such as the mastery program offered here, but there are options. I’d suggest getting your mind on where you want to go from here, instead of living through the pain over and over. What about getting better control over your emotions and your mind. It’s been a life saver for me. Maybe the issue isn’t the circumstance, but rather how you are dealing with it, or, not dealing with it. I know it’s tough, but something’s got to change. You have to do something different. You might need some help, but you can do it.

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