So confused


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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  gerberalove 9 years, 8 months ago.

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  • #6300

    gerberalove
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    I knew this guy from work. He left the company already. Ever since he left, we didn’t meet each other anymore. Only emailed each other once a while on holidays etc. Earlier this year, we started chatting online, he said he broke up with his girlfriend and expressed his interested in me. In the first month, we chatted very often, almost every night. I felt I fell for him, had the sweet “in love” feeling. However, in the following months, we seemed to getting farther away from each other. He seemed to be so busy and being online less and less. He went for a business trip last month for a few weeks. After he came back from the trip, he disappeared. Never be online anymore, always saying busy working. I thought he must be losing interest in me so I didn’t chase after him and was trying to let go and forget about him. But recently, he came online and said he was just too busy and was still interested in me. I am very frustrated and wanted to know what was going on but don’t know how. I would like to know if a relationship with him is worth pursuing? I am a scropio and he is a aquarius. Thanks in advance!

    #6985

    CandiceKen
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    Ah! The online world. No physical contact, no nice dinner dates, walks in the park, no meeting friends or family members on holidays or exchange of gifts or just smiles or sweet spontaneous moments that makes life magical, no possibility of confrontation. No accountability. It’s a shifty cowards paradise. Sometimes a vulnerable shy lonely person’s paradise. I used to think calling in sick for work or last minute date breaking via voice mail was lame but the era of internet relationships makes all that look bold responsible, considerate and courageous.

    But let’s get down to psychic business. In a nutshell: Move on. When i focus in on you, you are only doing this internet thing because going out safely and with self assurance isn’t always an option for you. You would like all those things I mentioned above, holidays walks in the park, etc. If this guy from work said let’s meet for dinner and start a real relationship, go places do things, etc. Your keyboard would be dusty, your inbox would be so full your newest messages would bounce back! You are passionate and normal. When I focused in on you, I said to myself “Thank heavens this one is normal and healthy so I don’t have to tactfully walk on eggshells with this one. she won’t say I’m wrong and that in an alternate universe she’s really a mole in the deepest burrow known to this planet.

    What I don’t want to have to reveal (but I wont waste your time with anything other than what I honestly see) is…………..
    The words that popped up in my head after focusing on him were he’s fishing. He loves the computer. He loves attention from as many virtual sources as he can get. I don’t think he really wants the real thing: a deep commitment. I also get psychically as I focus in further, that he respects no one, including himself. If you continue this online rendez-vouse it’s going to be on again off again and you will experience more rejection than anything else.I get an even stronger sense that he is often dishonest. Which is why the computer works for him. When he’ spinning one of his keyboard yarns (tales), he doesn’t have to look anyone in the eye who could look at him back and know he is lying.

    Trust me. If by some chance something did start, you would be bored and disappointed. Always staying at home watching cable while he’s on the computer. Never being escorted to parties, functions weddings. Him getting up out of bed after whoopee to go online while you sleep. That’s what I see as your future with him. He does not like to spend money either. Whether it’s health care for his loved ones, a birthday gift or a spontaneous latte or espresso, you are on your own.

    Get out. Meet people you can see and touch and smile at. Join things that you like where you can meet other people with whom you have important things in common, whether it’s the poetry club, kayaking on the river club, the Young Republicans club or the Sierra Club. Go to something you like. Whether you know it or not. You are a romantic and insist on someone who is up front.

    My practical advice to you. Turn the computer off unless you are emailing friends with whom you have already established a continuous, mutually respectable relationship with. I would ignore his online invitations. if you want to respond one final time. Tell him you have moved on. Too much time has lapsed an you are no longer interested but you wish him luck. Anything more may put you into doormatville.

    Feel free to post again and let me know what social clubs you have joined and the great new people you have met.

    Take care.

    #6986

    gerberalove
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    Thank your very much for your reply! I think you were right about 70%… He does not have very good reputation as a bfd/husband. But he is a very smart guy and I am attracted to him. We did meet up and I was a bit disappointed. He was not in a good shape as when I first met him. He paid for the meal and stuff for the date though 🙂 . The reason we chat online most of the time was because this is a long distance relationship. We live in different cities and will take a few hours drive.

    The bad thing is, somehow I still miss him and want him. I think I am beyond stupid given that I know there will be no future with him, but still cannot stop thinking about him.

    Can you see when I will find my true love? I am the type of person who cannot live without love…

    Thanks again!

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