Relationship question


Main LifeLeap Café Free Psychic Questions Relationship question

This topic contains 146 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  christopherj 6 years, 10 months ago.

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  • #7160

    KathyN
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    Christopher,
    A lot will depend on what you do to prepare for your future. You should do well with school, as you have in the past. Just don’t allow yourself to worry too much. It would help you tremendously to begin work on your resume. You could also start looking into a plan for what your first step in your search for employment will be.

    Even though the economy is tight, you could try to do some type of work during the summer. This could help you to have a bit more spending money for things that you need during the school year. It would also help to give you a sense of accomplishment.

    If you can take time to start planning for your future, you will start to sense the direction that you want to take. Everything requires a lot of hard work and determination. Since you want to go into the music business, now is the time to start checking into companies and agencies. This will make your employment search much easier for when you graduate.

    Take care!
    🙂

    #7161

    christopherj
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    Hey Kathy,
    I was just if you might have any insight for my life in general, what my future my hold for me. I know that futures are not set in stone but if you might anything you might be able to share, I would really appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
    -Chris

    #7162

    KathyN
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    Christopher,

    I sense that a lot will depend on what you have been doing this summer to prepare for your future. What contacts have you made? You are the most important participant in your future. You need to begin establishing contacts now in order to secure the type of employment that you desire.

    You should do well in your last year of school. However, your focus on what you plan to do immediately following graduation is very important!

    Take care!
    🙂

    #7163

    christopherj
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    Hi Kathy,
    How are you doing? So, I’ve finally started what is supposed to be my last year in college, excited while at the same time trying my best to just rid myself of all unnecessary stress and worry. Also, for some reason though I have been trying my best to just stay positive and optimistic and keep the faith going, my mind at times has felt to be in a weird place. I don’t know if it’s having to do with finding a job, which I have been working on, though I’ve yet to have any luck in that area, or relationship stuff, my classes, or just life in general. Maybe it’s me needing to just breath or just really just have faith that everything will be okay.

    I did have an incident though with a girl I met a few days ago, who just started at school as a fellow music major. I was attracted to her, feeling that there was something there but it just ended up just being very one sided on my part. I did though end up not telling her that I was interested in her because I didn’t want to lose the friendship that we had. I honestly feel that maybe I should just not do anything because I feel that I can’t really seem to trust the feelings that have because I just feel like every time I have felt an attraction towards someone, it’s always ended up being just me with the attraction and not the other person. But maybe, like you said, the person I will meet will show that attraction so I won’t have to question whether or not she likes me.

    In any case, thank you for your continued help and support, I really appreciate it. I’d say that smart thing I guess should just be to try and just focus on school, hard as that may be at times, and just not worry about that other stuff. It just feels though as I get older I seem to think about it more and more. Anyways, thank you again.

    #7164

    christopherj
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    The girl in question that I mentioned, her name is Marilyn (1/7/1992)

    #7165

    KathyN
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    Christopher,
    It seems that you have a handle on what you need to be doing for this school year. You should do well with your classes, just try not to worry about it. You know what you need to do in order to do well with your assignments.

    It is important that you start networking now in order to get the kind of job that you want following graduation. It might help if you could talk with some friends who have already graduated. Where are they working now? How did they go about their job search, etc.? It is time to start putting together your resume.

    As for Marilyn, she is just getting into her routine at school. She might not even be thinking about what guys she could go out with. You don’t need to rush into anything. If she talks to you freqently, then you will notice if there is a change in her actions.

    Just try to enjoy your last year at school. At the same time be getting ready for what comes after graduation!

    Take care!
    🙂

    #7166

    christopherj
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    Hi Kathy,
    So as usual, I’ve been stressing out with this semester and at times not sure about where things are headed, but I’ve been trying my best to stay strong and keep the faith going. Things have been kind of up and down though in terms of my classes and hoping I past the tests and get through them with a good grade. Today though, I lost my laptop and haven’t been able to find it. I think someone may have stolen it but I’m not sure, I retraced my steps but it didn’t help me because I still couldn’t find them. I just really hope and pray that it turns up because I really don’t want to have to buy another when we are already tight with money. I was also hoping that I wouldn’t have to go a replace my laptop since I was hoping there could be money used towards other things, even maybe and xbox 360 that I’ve always wanted and could possibly get for my birthday or Christmas but after this, I don’t think so. This has just been something that I really did not need right now with how much I need to be studying for my classes and passing my tests. Anyways, I just hope that everything will turn around soon cause I could really use it. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
    -Chris

    #7167

    KathyN
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    Christopher,
    Have you asked at your school’s administrative office if anyone has turned in a lost laptop? Is there a place where you could post information about your lost laptop and offer a small reward? A small reward could be incentive for someone to return it with no questions asked.

    You might do well not to plan to make any purchases that you don’t absolutely need. If you are able to recover your laptop and it does not have to be replaced, you might want to save the money you planned to spend on the other things. I know this seems hard, but planning and saving for your future is really more important.

    If you focus on school, your assignments, giving it all of your positive energy, you should do well. This is your last year of college and it is very important to focus on what you will be doing immediately after graduation.

    Take care!
    🙂

    #7168

    christopherj
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    Hi,
    So last week I had my birthday and turned 25 and yesterday two of my friends took me out for dinner and a movie which was really great, it felt good to finally go out and celebrate my birthday with all the stress that’s been going on with school. I’m so close to finally finishing school, I just can’t wait, with this fall semester just about over in a few more weeks, I will be off to my last semester in the spring, it’s so close to graduation, I can just taste. I just pray I can do what needs to be done to make it.
    Anyways, I came across my Shannon (2/8/87) on facebook cause I was randomly thinking about her and it had been ages since I had ever talked to her or seen her and I noticed she had found a new guy and was no longer with the last guy and had been really treating her badly. But I also noticed that she now had a baby boy which really surprised me. The last time I had seen her was in 2007 and maybe the last time i ever talked to her was in 2008. It was just so crazy how fast things have changed from then till now. I just hope that she is doing well and I just hope that the guy she’s with is treating her well.
    Then, I was wondering about something with this girl that I’ve met named Kathryn (7/24/85) who goes to my school. We’ve been talking for little while and even talked about her coming out during the winter break to come hang out with me. I’m really trying to play it safe and I just hope that I haven’t ever said anything to mess things up, cause the last thing I want to do is be too forward and mess up my friendship with her. Anyways, if you have any thoughts into this, I’d really appreciate it, thank you.
    -Chris

    #7169

    KathyN
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    Christopher,
    A belated very happy birthday to you! You will soon be finished with school– Now is the time to be getting your resume ready (if you haven’t already) and to be exploring the job market for when you can start submitting your resume.

    As for Kathryn, why don’t you wait to see what happens? If she decides to come out to hang out during winter break that will be a sign that she enjoys spending time with you. You might be able to tell by her actions if you should pursue this further.

    Best wishes,
    🙂

    #7170

    christopherj
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    Hi,
    So I feel like I have problem and I don’t know how to fix it. It’s a problem of not knowing if I’m sending too many msgs, texts, communicating too much with the person I’m interested in, this being Kathryn, the girl I mentioned in my last post. I sent her some text msgs during this past week, thanksgiving break, never heard back from her so I assumed she must have been busy, relaxing, wasn’t really taking texts. But also, a part of me thought that maybe she was getting annoyed by me sending the texts so i had sent her a text apologizing and wanted to be sure that wasn’t the case. Then, today I came across her on facebook chat and tried to strike up a conversation but wasn’t hearing back from her so I assumed she was busy. I was just wondering if there was any insight you might have into this, if I have been bothering her or if I’m overacting, what she really thinks of me. I just don’t want this to be another one of those moments where it all ends up blowing up in my face because I ended up saying too much, doing the wrong thing and missing an opportunity to possible start a great relationship with someone. I do like her, think she likes me, but I don’t know.

    #7171

    KathyN
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    Christopher,
    Since you texted her last and he has not responded, it might be best to wait until you hear from her. It is a common courtesy to respond to someone’s message, but perhaps she prefers to not have the texting be a continual occurrence. Texting can be expensive under some cell phone plans. Do you know for sure that she even uses her phone for texting? Some people have a block on text messages in order not to incur these additional charges.

    In any event because you have made an attempt to contact her and she hasn’t responded, it might be best to wait until you see her or hear from her. It would be better if you didn’t appear to be too anxious. Things will somehow work out if this was meant to be!

    Take care,
    🙂

    #7172

    christopherj
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    Hi,
    So, if you remember that girl I had mentioned to you about, Kathryn, doesn’t talk to me anymore and I think it may have been that I may have been because I had sent her too many texts during the thanksgiving break. But, it’s always been that I never realize what I am doing is wrong unless a girl can make me aware of it. But, that then causes me to send out texts or emails to find out what i did wrong so I can fix and get back on track. So, now i can’t talk to her on fb, or text her. I’ve realize that I’ve built up a track record of girls that I may be interested in end not talking to me for a while or not at all. I guess I should just stop altogether and just let life take it’s course just have faith and trust that it will all work out in the end. Also, wanted to know if you might have any insight into this new year. Thank you for all your continued help.

    #7173

    brian424
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    Hi Christopher,

    Girls are not that hard to figure out. I see so many guys having issues being able to figure girls out and it is so simple. People in general are easy to figure out. You just have to pay attention. I used to be like you when I was high school, I couldn’t figure out girls and I just wanted to be in a relationship. Now I have no trouble attracting the best looking girls and all my friends are jealous. How you might ask? Because I changed my way of thinking. Stop putting girls up on pedestals, they are no different than you or I. Also, one of the biggest mistakes I see so many people make is to think that being in a relationship will all of a sudden make their life that much better. Being in a relationship makes life harder, because now you have that other person you have to make time for and the stresses that come from a relationship. You can’t rely on another person for your happiness, you need to be happy with yourself before you go into a relationship, otherwise it is doomed from the start.

    Now I’m going to be completely honest, your problem with girls is that you are too desperate to get in a relationship. Girls can smell desperation like blood hounds. There is a theory in Psychology called String Theory, it was an experiment with cats, but can be seen in humans as well. Now if you take string and move it around and dangle it in front of a cat, most of the time they will go nuts and go after the string, but if you throw the string down on the floor next to the cat, the cat loses interest. Now think about girls, if a girl can easily have you if she wanted, why would she want you? Even if a girl tells you she isn’t like that, I can guarantee she is, cause she can’t control it. If she doesn’t have to work a little for you than she won’t be interested. A lot of girls tell me I’m wrong, but don’t they all have that one really super nice friend that is interested in them, but they only see as a friend. Attraction isn’t a choice. Girls want a guy that is confident, some one that can make them laugh, and someone who can protect them (I don’t work out, so it isn’t about having a bunch of muscles, it is about making her feel safe). I’ve had a bunch of girls tell me I wasn’t their type because I didn’t have huge muscles, but after a few days of talking to me, they want to date me. So like I said attraction isn’t a choice.

    One of my favorite things to do is people watching. Just go to the mall, your school (if you’re still in school), or a park. Somewhere a lot of people are at and just watch interactions between people. Learn to read body language. A lot of times you can see the one guy that is really interested in a girl, but the girl pays him no mind or vise versa. Look at the body language. It is said that 90% of the communication between people is through body language while 10% is actual talking. Girls want to be in relationship just as much if not more than guys do, it is just girls aren’t basing their decisions off of a guys looks all the time. As guys we are visual creatures, we will want to be with a girl just because she is attractive, but girls want someone with personality. Now I could sit here all day and talk about this subject and how to attract girls, but I don’t have that kind of time. It is up to you to be able to figure it out on your own. You will only learn by experiencing it, not behind a computer screen.

    So stop texting girls so much and if they don’t respond then chalk it up to them not being interested. Don’t try to force it. Don’t ask them what you did wrong. That shows you lack confidence. If they want to talk to you they will find a way to contact you. You really need to not email or text them and spend all the time talking to them on facebook. If you see them on a regular basis then talk to them in person, you’re not going to be able to have a relationship through facebook, so you should get used to spending time with them in person. Now if it is someone you usually don’t see all the time than yea a facebook chat or email is fine, but don’t do it all the time where you seem obsessed. If you have a girls number than call her. Only time I ever really text a girl is if I know she is at work/class or just to send a “what’s up?” or something small. If I’m going to have a conversation I’m going to talk to her, not have it through text. I personally find it annoying when text conversations get too long.

    You have to chase a girl in the beginning, unless she is already attracted to you, but you get to a point where she is comfortable with you and then you don’t have to chase her, she will chase you. You can tell you hit this point when she starts telling you stuff about her that you know she doesn’t tell everyone, that is the point where she trusts you. You break that trust you’re done, don’t let it go to your head. A good way to get to this point is the questions game. This usually will only work on a girl that you know a little bit, but not a lot. Tell her you want to get to know her better so lets play the questions game. You each ask a question about the other person, that person can ask the same question about you, but that doesn’t count as the question they need to ask during their turn. It usually starts out as small innocent questions like what is your favorite color/animal/subject in school/movie/etc. But you will be surprised how quickly the questions change and become more serious. I had a girl that jumped from asking my favorite ice cream flavor to a question about what I find attractive in a woman and if I would date her. Once she starts seeing you have more and more in common she will start to feel like she knows you more and is comfortable with you. Don’t lie in the questions to try and make her like you more. If she finds out you lied you’re done. Just be yourself, if she don’t like that, then o well her loss.

    Now I realize that what I just said may come off as being mean, but this is reality my friend. People don’t just randomly fall in love like in the movies. You gotta show a girl, why you are different than all the other guys.

    Hope this helps,
    ~Brian

    #7174

    christopherj
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    Hi Kathy,
    How are you doing? I’m finally getting through my last semester and I’m excited to be in it, it’s just been the busiest i’ve been with school lol! I’m doing my best to stay on top of things and stay focused and not let myself stress or worry but just focus on getting through it and getting to graduation!! I’m just hoping and praying I will make it.

    I wanted to also talk about my friend Allie (9/11/89), who I had mentioned before. For the longest time, since I’ve known, which would be around four years because we started at cal state fullerton the same time, she would never talk to me at school, we’d pass each other in the hallways, i’d try to talk to her on facebook, she never talked to me. Then last semester she started talking to me on fb chat and things were good then we drop contact again. But, last week, for the first time, i was walking to class and she was coming from the opposite direction and she saw me and smiled and said hi to me. It kind of surprised me because I wasn’t expected it. She looked very pleased to see me and it felt nice to hear her say hi to me. Then, in another class, as soon she walked in to class she stopped and say hi to me as I was the first person she saw.

    I was very curious if you might have any insight into this at all. I feel like something changed in her, or something just clicked in her for to change like that, after all the time i’ve known her, I had never heard her act that way to me before. It was nice, felt good for her to say that. It made me feel like we had really formed a friendship, when before i wasn’t sure if we were just acquaintances. A part of me is just wondering if maybe it’s because we’re in our last semester together, or maybe she just decided to turn over a new leaf, which is great since i know there was a part of me that really wanted to be friends with her, but never knew how to approach her. I wonder though if there is the possibility of me being able to hang out with her and get to know her better. I just don’t know exactly how to ask her without being too forward and pushing her away. I think I want to play it safe since i’ve had plenty of bad experiences with asking girls out before. I would very much appreciate your help in this Kathy, thank you so much for the help you’ve given me and for reading this post.

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