Could use some help


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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  christopherj 9 years, 9 months ago.

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    christopherj
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    My name is Christopher Jones and I was born on November 18th, 1985. I know I may have asked this question before but I guess I feel like I am stuck in this spot of always being too forward with girls when I would try and ask them out. I have been trying to take things slow while at the same time trying to be assertive, but I am just not sure if I am doing the right things, most of time I feel unsure of what to say at times because I am afraid of weirding them out so i mostly just do allot of small talk which doesn’t really get me anyway expect to say that I am just a good friend but nobody’s boyfriend. The girls I usually talk to are my friends and I have an easy time carrying on regular conversations, but, when I try and mentioning things about hanging out, allot of the time it would be taken as me being too forward and I would end up almost losing them as a friend. Even if I would just want to hang out as friends, sometimes, the girl I am talking I to would take what I am saying as me asking her out instead, which happened to me when I was talking to my friend Casey , born March 28, 1990. I have tried to send her an e-mail through Facebook apologizing but she hasn’t responded so i’m worried that I may have ruined my friendship with her. Then, there was Erika, born November 12, 1990, we used to talk and now we don’t talk at all. I just feel at times that whatever I try to do, I either almost end up losing the person as a friend or just weirding them out coming off as too forward. My other friends, Aubrey and Krys , Courtney , I feel very blessed to still have them as friends when I felt I had almost lost them by being too forward. Then there was Shannon , born February 8th, 1987, and we used to be great friends, but then stuff happened between us and we ended our friendship on very bad terms. So, anyways, I feel like I am stuck in the friend zone, I’m glad that I have so many friends, but at the same time, seeing as I’ve never had a girlfriend before, I just keep wondering what it is I am doing wrong or what it is I could be doing to change my situation and I just can’t seem to figure it out. I have faith and keep praying and hoping that things will change and I will find that one, but, I also feel like I’m just playing the “waiting game.” I’ve heard from my friends that it will happen when I least expect it or when I’m not thinking about it, but of course, I’m always thinking about it in the back of my mind, if there are ones out there who could be attracted to me and I haven’t noticed it, maybe I’m not seeing the signals, I don’t know. I always wish sometimes that someone would come up to me instead of me always going up to people hoping, wondering if she could be attracted to me or not. I’m sorry for the long message, I hope this hasn’t come off as me just complaining, I would really appreciate some insight with this. Thank you for taking the time to read this message.

    #6922

    CandiceKen
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    Hi Chris.

    When I focus in on you psychically, I feel that you are restless and experiencing a lot of inner emotional turmoil.
    Right now your level of self confidence is not where it needs to be because of childhood trauma that you are trying to pretend never happened or put in the back of your mind without dealing with it and allowing yourself to heal from it.

    Until you heal from these series of past unfortunate events, you will not have the self esteem to (1) set your standards (of who you choose to ask out) a little higher and (2) exude or put forth a confident and relaxed demeanor or your good side which you have been keeping from people. Relax and bring out your “best” self and attract a person who is best suited for you.

    Right now, you are not comfortable with yourself and that is showing. Try having fun and BEING fun. Are you fun to be around? Should your friends look forward to spending time with you? Do make them smile/laugh? When a friend is having a rough day, are you the friend that they can relax around and look froward to spending time with to simply chill out and ease the tension in their life?

    I hope this helps. Oh and by the way, don’t get too hung up on peoples’ birth dates. They don’t matter unless you need to remember to send birthday cards.

    Peace

    Candice

    #6923

    christopherj
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    Thank you for the help

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