Continuance of my marriage


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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Linny2399 9 years, 6 months ago.

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  • #6329

    Linny2399
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    I already posted this under my last post but i wanted to repost it under a new topic so that i may get responses.

    Well it’s been almost 5 months since he left me, still no change although he did call me last night and talked to me for a long time. The majority of the conversation was civil, then i got a private call at 3 am, was it him? As of now we share custody of my son and it has been working for us. He is still with her, but it seems that they are falling apart. I think he is starting to realize what mistakes he has made, but i could be wrong. Would someone please let me know weather i am correct in my theories or if I should just realize its over. I still love him very much and i will not sign divorce papers i want to believe so badly that there is hope for us. I feel he still loves me but i just dont know anymore. Thank you for reading I look forward to your responses.

    #7043

    CandiceKen
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    The future is not etched in stone. if you don’t feel right about signing the papers, then don’t. There is no scientific formula for these kinds of situations. Don’t compare your situation with one that my appear to be identical to yours. Follow your gut. If at some point, it looks like it wont work and you finally decide to sign papers, you know you’ve done ALL you can. AND you wont look back with painful regrets. He’s settled down and stopped trying to get full custody. That’s progress. He’s being civil and is now capable of carrying on a nice conversation with you. That too is progress. When I focus in on him, his energy is so scattered and he does not know what he wants. He is not happy with her. the romance and thrill is gone. She is starting to show her real side. She was very phoney before and told him just what he wanted to hear and now that he’s there, she’s relaxing and he’s not sure if he likes her anymore. Dont get me wrong, he’s no victim, he lied to her too about your marriage and made you out to be less than you are to justify his infidelity. The fundamental difference between them is he loves his son, she does not. She possesses a much chillier kind of coldness than he does – because of his love for his son.

    He is confused, he loves you more than her but theres’ a part of him that wants to be alone. very confused. if he comes back, which there is a 50/50 chance of, there is a good chance he may cheat again. the only way to prevent that is for him to learn to be honest with you at all times ABOUT HOW HE IS FEELING. He gets frustrated with you but lets it build up until he has built a ridiculous case against you in his head while you are totally unaware. From the beginning of your post, that’s what I picked up but I wanted to be certain before telling you so that you wouldn’t misunderstand me and think it’s your fault because it isn’t. Threatening to take your son to live with her is despicable-which is why I personally would be leary of a reconciliation.

    #7044

    Linny2399
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    So you do believe there is hope? Today it is 5 months to the day that he left me. We did a transfer of my son yesterday and he was very mean and hateful. He brings his stupid girlfriend every time. You said there was a 50/50 chance that he will come back is there anything i can do to ensure that he does? What is keeping him from me if he loves me like you say he knows he could have me back….I THINK!!!!! Also i wanted to know that if it was possible that you felt like it was him that called at 3 am on friday? Im just curious. I will be checking this post all day im anxious to hear what you think.
    Thank you and i will answer any question that i can if you need anything.

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