Maybe you want to improve the romantic area of your life, OR you want to lose some weight and get in better shape. Perhaps your first priority is making more money.
Have you ever identified a goal – put your heart into it, then took the necessary steps to achieve that goal? You even took it a step further and started thinking more positively, telling yourself "YES! I can do it" and convincing yourself "things will get better."
But if you are like most people, you somehow find yourself back at square one feeling discouraged and wondering "WHAT HAPPENED"?
The solution to solving obesity is clear: eat better and exercise more. It’s common knowledge. But according to widespread research, over 80% of the people who make goals to eat better and exercise fail to accomplish those goals within a year. Why do people fail at losing weight?
If you eat better and exercise more, science proves you will lose weight. This leaves the lack of a "positive attitude" as the culprit.
I get it! After over 35 years of lifting weights and practicing martial arts, I can tell you keeping fit is not always a walk in the park. It’s difficult. It can be physically painful. The results you are seeking take time, AND there is always something else, easier and more enjoyable you could be doing.
Here’s the reality: In almost every area of life, most people are simply unable to stay strong, focused, persistent, and patient when they attempt to accomplish a major change. Most people simply fail to remain positive.
If you set out to accomplish a goal and tried to use positive thinking, and you failed, it’s not your fault. The issue is simple…
Positive thinking doesn’t work if… you leave out one important step. And most people don’t include this step when they attempt to improve their lives with positive thinking.
Before we talk about this all-so-important step, let’s talk about how critical being positive is in life. For starters, if you have a positive attitude, you simply feel better. You are happier. When challenges occur, you are able keep calm and remain focusing on solving the issues, rather than being buried by the challenges.
Research has proven time and time again a positive attitude is a common trait among all highly successful people. Most achievers will tell you this is a strong factor in how they achieved success, whether it’s with wealth, relationships, or getting physically fit.
But, a positive attitude goes much deeper than being happier.
Your attitude is a strong factor in determining what you spiritually manifest in your life. Don’t believe me? Check out the research conducted by the prestigious Princeton University. The PEAR project was created and ran by Richard Juan, the Dean of the Princeton Engineering Department.
After 30 years of research, scientists at Princeton determined we are all influencing other people and events on a metaphysical level. They refer to this as “remote influence.” You can dig through the research and see for yourself (be aware, the research is written very scientifically):
I’m sure you’ve heard of Steve Harvey. He’s the host of the Miss Universe Pageant, Family Feud. He has his own radio show. He’s an actor and has won several Emmy Awards.
Steve went from living in his car and owing the IRS $2,000,000 to the level of success he has today.
Steve believes in the Law Of Attraction. His success is proof of what can be accomplished if you live by these principles:
“Like attracts like. You have to understand: you are a magnet. Whatever you are, that’s what you draw to you. If you’re negative, you’re going to draw negativity. You positive? You draw positive. You’re a kind person? Most people are kind to you…If you see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand. This is so true.” – Steve Harvey
So, according to Steve and so many other achievers, your positive attitude is your “request to the universe” for what you intend to attract in your life. Embrace this important concept. And please, please, please, drill it into your mind that…
Taking Steps On The Physical Level Of Life Just Isn’t Enough
If making a serious change in life is important to you, don’t fall for the trap of thinking it’s only a matter of taking steps on the “physical” level of life. For example:
Do you want a healthier, better looking body? Sure, you can get a membership at the gym and start making goals to eat healthier. But if you don’t get control over your attitude, you won’t be able to keep focused and prevent yourself from falling back into your old habits. Remember, 80% of the people who set a goal to lose weight fail in the first year.
Do you want to get that promotion at work or would you love to finally launch that business you’ve been dreaming about for years? If you want to make more money, sure, you can work harder. But if you don’t harness that “warrior control” over yourself, you will only be running with one leg. You need to master yourself from the inside out. You must be strong, especially when things seem like they aren’t getting better.
You can do everything right on the physical level of life. But, if you don’t get control of your internal mindset, you’ll always be limited with what you can accomplish.
Your Life Depends On Your Attitude – Literally
Of course, if you have a negative attitude, not only will you fail more at what you set out to do, you will tend to spiritually attract negative events and people into your life.
One example which always stands out in my mind involves a childhood friend Vicki. When we were young, I remember Vicki telling me several times she always thought she would get a brain tumor when she got older. She didn’t know why, but she just always had a sense it would happen.
There was no genetic history of brain cancer in her family, so she really had no reason to expect it – but she did.
In her early 20’s, guess what happened? Vicki was diagnosed with brain cancer.
It was a long and painful treatment involving surgery and chemotherapy, but fortunately she did survive. But, as you can imagine, this all had a significant effect in her life and it still does to this day.
I sometimes think back what might have happened when she was younger, if she had changed her mindset. Instead of “I’m know I’m going to get a brain tumor” what would have happened if she would have instead insisted “I’m going to be healthy and strong” throughout my life. Even if there was cancer in the genetic history of her family, what would have happened?
Based on so many experiences I’ve personally had and those experiences I’ve seen other people go through, I’m confident a different attitude would have increased Vicki’s chances of staying healthy. Now, I’m not blaming her or anyone else who gets sick, but there is a lot of research out there which suggests our attitude is a strong factor in determining our health and well-being.
Regardless, this was an important lesson to me. It demonstrated how important it is to have a positive mindset. In fact, Vicki’s experience offered proof that life often depends on our attitude.
Why Is Positive Thinking Alone Not Enough?
The movies "The Secret" and "What The Bleep" opened the eyes of many people to the powerful subjects of attraction and positive thinking. We also had an upsurge of Personal Growth and Spiritual Growth books in bookstores since the late 1980’s. Maybe you saw these movies and have read many great books. You’ve learned about positive thinking, affirmations and positive visualization and got ready to create a new life for yourself.
So perhaps you started replacing your negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Then you visualized yourself experiencing life in a new way, as if it’s happening right now. This is what the books and movies instructed you to do, right?
Maybe you became quite serious, and every day, you stand in front of the mirror, repeating positive affirmations out loud to yourself. This is a powerful approach, right?
Test it – stop reading and go try this now. Stand in the front of the mirror, look at yourself, and say out loud “My life is getting better and better, in every way, every day!”
If you actually did this simple test, you already feel better about your life…or, maybe not. When most people use positive thinking, positive visualization, or positive affirmations, something happens, and it’s usually not a good thing. Deep down inside, there is a little voice telling you:
“This isn’t working.”
“My life hasn’t gotten any better lately, so why should it now?”
“I’m fooling myself – things will stay the same or get worse.”
It’s a “feeling” inside which goes directly against the positive thoughts you are trying to implant into your mind.
Some personal growth experts will tell you: with repetition of positive thinking and visualization, this deep-down feeling will go away. But, that’s just not the reality for most people. In fact, you might discover, the more you use positive thinking, the stronger that “deep down feeling” becomes. It gets to where…
Using Positive Thinking And Positive Visualization Is Self-Destructive
This is because that negative deep-down feeling grows inside of you like cancer, becoming stronger each time you try to use positive thinking. You start doubting yourself even more, you get more depressed, and you get more discouraged about the things you are trying to achieve in your life. This experience should prove to you…
The Power Of Emotions
See, that deep down feeling inside of you is more important than any thought or visualization. In fact, your feelings are really what determine so much in your life:
How other people perceive you
Your ability to accomplish difficult tasks
Every decision you make
Your ability to face challenges in life
What people and events you spiritually attract into your life
Your ability to succeed at anything
This is so whether it’s with relationships, your health, your financial success, even your ability to lose weight. In fact, there is a great deal of credible research about the power of emotions.
For example, California Pacific Medical Center did number of studies on how emotions relate to sickness. They discovered when cancer patients “expect” to heal, there is statistically a better chance of that person becoming healthier compared to cancer patients who did not expect to get better. This is powerful!
How Do You Make Positive Thinking Work For You?
The first thing I suggest is STOP attempting to use positive thinking and positive visualization. As mentioned before, these things are self-destructive for most people.
I know this goes against what everybody else says, but think about it for a moment! Why should you continue to do something which isn’t helping you, or worse, digging you deeper into a hole?
At least for a little while, put positive thinking out of your mind. Don’t worry about it for now. Instead, I suggest you do whatever you have to do to get absolute control over your emotions. But, be aware…
Reading about controlling your emotions, talking about it with a counselor, taking mood altering pharmaceuticals, or merely thinking about it Will Not Get You Lasting Results.
I’ve tried many of these things myself and I’ve worked with thousands of clients over the years who have taken the same approaches. Unfortunately, the result is always the same. You remain stuck or you make things worse.
When it comes to getting control over those deep-down emotions, I suggest targeted exercises such as visualizations. But, not just any visualization. I’m talking about exercises specifically designed for gaining control over your emotions.
Many major companies such as IBM and Intel provide this type of training to their upper level management at “executive bootcamps.” The CEOs and executives spend a few days at these workshops learning how to break pesky emotional reactions and reprogram themselves, so they are more capable at doing a better job for the company. Corporations pay big money for this training for one specific reason: It works!
Many actors get this same type of training. When you see and actor expressing an emotional state on TV or at the movies, they are actually experiencing the emotional states they are expressing. They aren’t faking it or acting – the emotions are real.
With a little bit work, you can achieve the same level of internal emotional control. In fact, let’s start right now!
Here are a couple audio exercises from our Life Mastery Program. The first exercise contains an awareness building exercise that will help you sense emotional states within your body. To get control over something, you first have to become aware of it.
The second exercise will help you to start learning how to “anchor” yourself in specific emotional states. This is where things start getting powerful. To get started, find a distraction free place and get comfortable, and spend a few minutes letting me coach you through these exercises:
1. Tense And Release:
2. Emotional Activation:
Well, how did it work out for you? If you took the time to perform the exercises, how did you do? Where you able to sense emotions internally within your body? If not, with some practice, this will work for you – I guarantee it!
Let me ask you, when you were doing the exercise: Did you start to feel anything? Who was controlling your emotions? You Were! There you have it – solid proof you can actually control your emotions, which a is critical step towards taking charge over your own life.
How To Use Emotional States To Get What You Want
With the audio exercises provided above, it’s best to do these at first in a quite place, where you are undisturbed. Maybe try this for a a week or two. This allows you to build the skill of activating emotions at will.
With some practice, then you get to where you can “turn on” emotional states throughout the day, wherever you are. You learn to use what’s appropriate for the situation. Here are some examples:
Use “success” during a job interview or when performing a task when your boss is watching
Use “hope” and “strength” if just coming out of painful romantic breakup
Use “acceptance” and “confidence” when on a first date
Use “courage” when you are at the gym, or thinking about going to the gym
Don’t worry- these exercises aren’t about turning you into a programmed robot. You can keep reacting to the nice things in life, such as a beautiful sunset or the love you feel for the people who are important to you.
But there are times you want to have control over your emotions, because if you don’t control them, they will become your worst enemy. That’s what these beginning-level exercises we provided will help you accomplish.
The whole idea is to start “bathing” in more positive and productive emotions throughout the day. Use the audio exercises as a guideline for how to accomplish this.
When you finally start combining positive emotions with positive thinking, you create a powerful combination. As you "feel" positive emotional energy when thinking and visualizing in a positive manner, you are creating the force required to make serious changes.
Your romantic life will start to improve, whether you are already in a relationship or if you are single. Your immune system and other aspects of your health will start to get better. You will gain the “warrior mindset” it takes to start losing those pounds or start excelling more at work. Your self-esteem will start to improve, and everyone around you will notice, giving you proof what you are doing is working.
Not only will you feel better, your emotions and intentions will start to influence others on spiritual level. Remember that Princeton University researched mentioned earlier? According to the research, guess what one of the main deciding factors is in how we metaphysically influence people and events? You guessed it – emotions.
And if that’s the case, why not use this in your favor, instead of your emotions working against you in relationships, your career, and every other area of your life.
Before You Attempt To Make A Major Change In Your Life, Consider "Upgrading" Your Emotional And Mental Control
Whether it’s with romance, your career, or your personal fitness, you might find it helpful to hold off on making any major changes in your life until you get some better “tools” for managing yourself internally. This is so, especially if you keep trying to do something, but you keep failing.
If what you are doing has been working for you, great! Keep going forward. If not, maybe it’s time to try something new.
It’s a tough question to ask, but if you don’t start doing something different, do you think anything will really change for you?
Making a big, positive change in your life is much like building a house from scratch. If you are building a house, it helps to have tools like a saw, a hammer, and a measuring tape.
If you had to build a house, would you want to do it empty-handed, or would you rather have good tools which make the job more possible and easier?
I’m not sure about you, but I’d rather have the tools!
Just as when you are building anything, when you are attempting to change your self for the better, from the inside out, it helps to have workable tools. These personal growth tools can include visualizations, emotional pattern breaking methods, and thought control exercises. These are the methods which many happy, successful, and healthy people use on a daily basis to create and maintain success in life.
When if comes to tools, you can use the audio exercises I provided to get started. At the same time, while the exercises I shared with you are a good start, these are beginning-level methods. Most people have stubborn internal patterns which make controlling emotions challenging. This is so especially with heavier deep-seated emotions like doubt, fear, anxiety, anger, and guilt.
For getting control over emotions and thinking on deeper and more lasting level, most people need more advanced training.
This leads to me to my next question for you…