Addicted to chaos, and need help!


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    nids
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    Hi everyone,
    Allow me to begin by thanking everyone for reading my issues. I have a health problem (non communicable of any sort, nor is it terminal) (please pardon me for not disclosing it— i’m just not ready yet) and subsequently have been on experimental medicine for far too long in effort to see what works.
    I was fairly stable for a long time, and w/ the assistance of my doctors thought it might be best to begin further development of my career. As a way to get me going, I was put on a very high dose of an energizing medicine. The problem? It didn’t work, but gave me severe mania.
    At the end of the year, (prior to the medicine) I began dating someone. We immediately clicked, and would see one another every chance we got, and if unable, we would be on the phone all night.
    Right after beginning this medicine, I went out to go see him, as I had been doing fairly regularly. I have no idea what tripped me, but I exploded w/ anger, and was literally shouting in such a rage that I wasn’t saying anything that even mimicked language. He looked at me, and quite literally walked away.
    That was nearly three weeks ago, and he has told me that my behavior scared him, and he wants nothing to do w/ me romantically. I have obviously apologized, but I have been proactive, and have spent countless hours w/ my doctors to drop this medicine, and go back to something that doesn’t drive me insane.
    So my question to anyone and everyone out here, is will he ever take me back, and try to reignite what we once had?

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