Relationship Suffering Is Optional!
Do you regularly feel a pit in your stomach when you think about your romantic life? Are you overwhelmed with a sense of confusion, betrayal, or indecision? No matter what you do, are you unable to stop thinking about an event or that “special” person from the past, even though it hurts?
Maybe you are in relationship that is up in the air, back and forth, on hold, or recently severed. Maybe you are still feeling the painful effects of a past relationship which occurred a long time ago. Maybe ending the relationship you are in, even though it’s a painful situation, is not the best solution yet.
Relationship suffering is a part of our culture, as it has been since humans have existed. You see it everywhere – in the themes of sitcoms and movies, in 95% of the music, even frequently in the news. People talk a lot about relationship pain a lot, but there isn’t a lot of talk about how to end the pain.
As an Intuitive Counselor and a teacher, I have encountered clients with all kinds of relationship issues over the years. Here are some of the common real-life scenarios that I often see.
As you read these, try to guess what the main common denominator is in all of these situations:
Scenario 1: Safe In The Cave
William hasn’t been on a date since his last serious relationship, which was over two years ago. The relationship ended painfully and William is still wounded, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. He lacks the confidence that he can ever have romance without getting hurt as he did before.
William goes out and tries to meet new people, but he can’t seem to connect with anyone. It’s almost as if he has a dark cloud floating over him. When he comes home after going out, although he is lonely, a part of him is relieved that he didn’t meet anyone.
Scenario 2: It Keeps Dragging On And On
Linda has been in a long-term relationship for over two years. The only problem is that her boyfriend is still married and living with his wife. He keeps saying he is going to get a divorce, but the weeks of waiting have turned into months. Linda is torn and doesn’t know what to do. On one hand she feels a strong chemistry and a “soul mate” type connection with him; and they have a great time when they see each other.
On the other hand, because her boyfriend is still married, she is feeling unimportant, used and sometimes wonders if he is intentionally leading her on. Every time she thinks about her future, she gets a pit in her stomach. She often has difficulty eating and sleeping.
Scenario 3: Back And Forth
Ann has been dating Andrew for over 8 months. They seemed to have such a strong connection when they first met. But after a couple months, Andrew pulled back and stopped calling her or seeing her as much. He had a whole list of excuses for the distance. But as soon as Ann threatened to end the relationship, Andrew showed back up full force in the relationship.
This has been going on for the last 5 months – Andrew is there, then he isn’t there, and then he is again. Ann is so indecisive and confused that she went to the doctor and got a prescription for anti-anxiety medication. Even with the medication, she goes throughout the day in a panic.
Scenario 4: Just Can’t Let Go
Margaret hasn’t been on a date in a year and a half. Her husband left her for another woman. Margaret came out financially well in the divorce, but she still feels so betrayed and confused. She wants to forget about her husband but she still loves him and she just can’t stop thinking about him.
It doesn’t help that Margaret and her X have kids together and she has to see him when he picks the kids up for visitation. Margaret can’t ever imagine being happy again.
These are just some of the scenarios that people regularly encounter when it comes to romance. Of course, the common denominator in these situations is choice; a choice that is almost always overlooked.
This choice is that no matter what is occurring in the relationship area of our lives, we can choose not to suffer.
Relax. I’m Not Here To Point A Finger Or Suggest Ending A “Dysfunctional” Relationship
It’s quite typical for a therapist, whether in the privacy of their office or on a daytime talk show to strongly advise that a person simply, sometimes abruptly, get out of a “dysfunctional” situation. Although such advice may be the only solution in some extreme matters, it’s not always realistic. Relationship advice is not one-size fits all and not all people want to be in a “normal” or mainstream relationship.
No matter how agonizing a situation may seem, there is a way to be at peace, even while remaining in the situation.
Just because what we are going through is challenging or out of the ordinary, we have a choice as to how we experience the challenge.
So While In A Seemingly Devastating Relationship, What Can Be Done To Keep Your Sanity?
There are a few things that seem to work for most people. On important factor is to take steps to keep a balanced life outside of the relationship area. For example, if a relationship is on hold, it’s often better to get out and have fun with other people, look for new things to discover, and add some excitement to your life.
It’s not a miracle pill, but it’s better than sitting at home thinking about how bad things have been, how bad things are, and how bad things may be in the future.
But even keeping yourself busy often isn’t enough. You need to have something you can do when the pain is really kicking in – this is where training comes into place.
There are proven methods such as visualizations, exercises where you are shifting emotions, and thought control methods that when used, will stop or at least lessen any amount of relationship suffering. In a scenario when you think about or see someone, a reaction is triggered, you apply the method, and within a few moments, you aren’t suffering anymore.
You may be able to find some of these methods in books, but personally, I’m a little biased. For years, I have taught many people how to end suffering in relationships through our Life Mastery Program.
Our program is taught online and I have students all over the world who have made huge steps towards gaining the peace, wisdom, and personal strength that we all deserve.
The Life Mastery Program is full of tested and proven techniques that work. Along with the training, we give you access to a strong supportive community of other students, including personal coaching with me. I encourage you to see all the details of the training and let me know if you have any questions: End Relationship Suffering Today
Whether you enroll in our program, or you find another method, I encourage you to hunt for methods that allow you to end the unnecessary suffering in relationships – the methods do exist. This type of pain doesn’t accomplish anything.
In fact, once you work through the way you are reacting to the romantic area of your life, the situations will have a tendency to change.
For example, the other people involved will tend to treat you differently.
Because you aren’t clouded with pain, your decisions and ability to see solutions will be enhanced. So don’t settle for the suffering, do something to stop relationship suffering today!