I suffer from anxiety, social avoidance, and lack a feeling of connectednedd and self worth, due probably to various traumas and abuses i endured from a young age continuing into adulthood as self abuse. I am learning to love myself but i cant seem to find that spark to kick my healing into gear and love myself and life. Recently i started getting alternative therapy from a very gifted healer. I am in love with him but he is married. I have this knowing that a sensual experience with him would definitely help me believe in my worth, value and lovability of me. Im not going to seduce him, but if i knew how he felt for me or what he thought of me, it would help me a great deal, without the need for physical actualization. Any insight at all is welcome and cherished.