I’m getting that he will be in the marriage for a while, maybe 2 years. This could change but I would consider working on healing yourself, rather than continuing to put your life on hold. I keep seeing something about her being in the medical field, or at least in the hospital a lot. I don’t see you dating anyone else recently, or at least anyone that matters to you. There are so many other things you could be doing rather than giving your soul away to him.
Are you a recluse? I don’t see any fun or good friendships in your life right now either. It’s time to get out and have some fun. Find some things you can enjoy doing that involve you being around positive people. Keep you head up and start taking better care of yourself!