Cathy,
Sorry to hear of your struggles. I would try to get your mind off of how bad things have been and instead, get it on what you have to do to create a better future for yourself. You might notice this in itself, will start bringing more positive experiences to you.
You can’t always control what happens in your life, but you can control how you react to it. I would suggest getting some training – some tools that will allow you to feel better and start spiritually attracting more of what you want. We have training here and you will find other approaches elsewhere.