If you want to end your marriage, don’t move. Your less than 100% commitment and this distance will cause the marriage to end. You either want your husband or you don’t. There is no inbetween. When I focus, I feel you don’t want your husband anymore but you dont want to break up the family. I also see that you either want someone else, either a specific person or you want to be able to “look” Before you go in that direction,consider what is best for your kids. If you put your kids first, I promise you things will fall into place. Any specific “wants” you have right now – that are apart from your kids – are temporary but if you act upon them will damage your relationship with your kids.