Relationship question


Main LifeLeap Café Free Psychic Questions Relationship question

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  • #7196

    christopherj
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      Hi Kathy,
      Happy New Year!! The reason for this post was to ask if you had any insight into this new year 2012. I know that lately, my mind has been doing a lot of wandering, more so I think, just because I’ve been wanting so much to be able to say that this made up for some of the downs that I went through last year. This year, I’ve dealt with finding out that i’m still officially graduated from college because of a class that I took didn’t ended up qualifing, so i’ve still got to take another class in the future. Also, I’ve just been thinking about what will happen to me, where I will end up, who will I become. I’ve been feeling worried and stressed, like I have to hurry and decide my life before everyone passes me by. I know that I always post on fb for everyone to stay strong, keep the faith and hope alive, keep moving forward, shift into turbo, but, I guess forget to tell myself that. I think I just feel that I should farther along then I am, but I don’t know how to get there. I am trying, making strides in my church job, searching for work, I have an audition to work at disneyland on tuesday. My mom says that I shouldn’t stress out, she knows that i’ve been trying, but she also reminds me that everything is about timing, and it all happens when it should be and try not to force things. I just have to remind me to take it easy and enjoy life, i’m only 26, i shouldn’t be getting gray hairs lol! Anyways, thank you for you help, I appreciate it.

      #7197

      KathyN
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        Hey Christopher,
        Happy New Year to you too! We always look forward to the new year with anticipation and hopes for a better year. This is very good but we then realize that we are basically just the same people we were last year. Anything we didn’t finish up or just let go last year we need to take care of in the new year. Could you possibly take the class that you need online? This might help you and wouldn’t put such a burden on your schedule.

        You have done very well to get the job with the church. You are also actively seeking additional employment. Since you are going to audition for a position at Disneyland, this must be performing position? That could be a great way to showcase your talent!

        Your mom is right– the time has to be right for certain things to happen. She does know how hard you have been trying. I do sense that you will get another job that will expose you to talent agents. It may take you some time to achieve all that you want do, but you will see evidence of your progress and you will feel more confident. I also see you finding a way to get the credit for the class that you need.

        Please keep in touch– and let us know how it goes with the Disneyland audition.

        Take care!
        🙂

        #7200

        christopherj
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          Hi Kathy,
          I went to the disneyland audition, they were auditioning for a barbershop quartet, I audition for the bass part. They gave of sheet music to look at, taught us the part, we practiced it, then everyone went in to a room, and each went up individually to sing in front of the judging panel. I didn’t do as well as I wanted to, ended forgetting the words cause i decided to leave my sheet music behind so that I could free myself up to add more expression and movement to my performance, since this is for disneyland and they would want to see expressiveness. Anyways, I’m glad I went out and tried out just to gain experience, I was pretty disappointed in myself, knowing I could have done a lot better, but at the end of the day, I can say that maybe this wasn’t meant for me, there are, will be more opportunities, i just have to stay strong and keep pushing on. I do wonder though, even though it’s hard for everyone to find work, especially for someone wanting to be in music, if i’ve been assertive enough in finding work. One of my friends told me that he thought I needed to be more pro-active, I feel that I have but i just haven’t found anything yet. I know that timing is everything and I’d like to think that sooner or later, my time will come, of course i’d love it if it were sooner lol! Sometimes, it’s hard to have to wait when i feel sometimes that i get tired of waiting, then people sometimes say to make things happen instead of wait for them to happen. Though, i think that it’s easy to say that, much harder to do that. Not gonna lie that I’ve compared myself to my friends sometimes, thinking about what they have or where they are at in life, wondering why I can’t be there, but, i also know that everyone is different, not everyone has to move at the same pace. I’ve always just told myself to stay strong, keep the faith, stay positive and keep hope alive and trust the everything would work out. There is a time and a place for everything, maybe it’s better not to force things, but let it all takes its course. Thank you for your continued help, I really appreciate it.

          #7201

          KathyN
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            Hey Christopher,
            Sorry the audition didn’t go as well as you hoped, but have they made a decision already? This could still open other doors for you. It is difficult if next to impossible to just make things happen when it comes to searching for work. In today’s ecomony very few places have it in their budget to create positions. You just have to do what you are doing, and that is to wait to apply or audition for possibilities as they become available. Just about everyone has gone through the experience of applying for a job and then realizing that it really isn’t what they had hoped for. Then there is a slight relief that they didn’t get that particular job, even though they need a job. There will be other opportunities, perhaps for which you are better suited. I still get the sense that you should keep looking for an established vocal group who is looking for a replacement back up singer. I honestly don’t know when this might happen, only that you should keep actively watching for this!

            Take care!
            🙂

            #7202

            christopherj
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              Hi Kathy,
              I know that you have mentioned about life’s not being set in stone, but I would very much appreciate if you had any insight about this year, being still early in this new year. I can tell that last year was very much of a roller coaster for me, had some ups, but also had some downs. I told myself that this year would my year, better then last year, that’d be able to say 2012 was a great year, when i get into 2013. I don’t think I’ve ever had a great year overall, at least not one that I can ever remember. I want to be able to say that i’ve started meeting my goals of getting another job, good pay, maybe started a relationship, started figured what i want to do with my life. Also, I know i want to eventually get my own place, buy a car, being independent and self-sufficient, if I manage to accomplish any of this this year. Anyways, thanks again for all your help!!

              #7191

              KathyN
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                Hey Christopher,
                It is difficult to measure things in a particular timeline. There are several different paths that you could choose and it will ultimately be your decision what direction to take. I do see you obtaining a supplemental income job. I am getting a strong pull in the direction of behind the scenes in the music industry– like choreography. This could eventually lead to performing. I still get the sense that you will meet a young lady through your church. You will eventually get your own apartment and a car. Not sure in which that order will be though– Fortunately, there is good public transportation in the area where you live which can take you to the larger cities where opportunities in the music industry are likely to be. So if you can just achieve your goals one step at a time you will be doing well. Very rarely do we have everything come together at one time.

                So just keep doing what you have been– it is just taking time– you will get there!

                Take care!
                🙂

                #7192

                christopherj
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                  Hi Kathy,
                  I just wanted to let you know that two days ago, i found out that my situation with school, getting my degree that i had told you about, had worked itself out, the school was able to find a class in my records that met the requirements, so i am now officially done with school. I will be getting my degree in the mail around late February or early march!! I would like to think that this means that my life is slowly working itself out, starting to turn around and heading in the right direction. I just hope and pray that this the start of more good things to come.

                  #7193

                  KathyN
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                    Christopher,
                    So glad that the school located that class credit. It is just unfortunate that someone didn’t look harder before they had to worry you about it. This is a step toward getting things accomplished that you needed to. Sometimes it does take awhile to get things going on the right track. It is difficult though when you have worked so hard. I am still getting a pull in the direction that you might do well to look into behind the scenes opportunities in the music industry. By this I am seeing possibilities of adminstrative work for a recording company. This in turn could eventually expose you to the performing side of the industry. It might be worth it to watch for something like this.

                    Keep doing what you are doing– and keep that positive attitude!

                    Best wishes,
                    🙂

                    #7194

                    christopherj
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                      Hi Kathy,
                      I wanted to let you know that my college degree arrived in the mail yesterday, so I was very happy about that. But, besides that, lately I’ve continually been dealing with the frustration of just not knowing really where my life is supposed to heading. I know this has been an on going thing with me, but I’ve really been feeling stuck, like I’m not getting anywhere. I feel that I’ve been trying to figure things out, trying to see how I can get something, figure out what I want to do, but I haven’t been finding any answers. I also feel pressure from my mom who thinks I am not doing anything with my time, like I just waste a lot of time, which cause me to think like I have to hurry up and get something started, when I still don’t really know what that something is. I’ve tried to get help, do some network, trying and get together with people, but it just hasn’t been working. I can say that I love to sing, but I don’t think it’s enough in this working world. I would like to have my own group and perform, do shows, record albums, I would like to do a lot of stuff. Right now, I know I should probably have a plan, but I don’t, or I don’t know how to execute the plan that I have. Maybe this is how it feels to be in the real world. I do know that I want to become a self-sufficient, independent, mature man who can say he leads his own life, has a career, his own place, in a great relationship. I mean, I’m 26 and I feel like should’ve had things figured out years ago, but now I’m behind and need to catch up before everything or everyone passes me by. I don’t want to hit my next birthday and still be in the same place i’m in right now. I need to get things moving in the right direction. I know that timing can be involved, in terms of when the right time is for things to occur, but my thing is, can right time be soon cause I don’t want to wait anymore. Apologize for the rant, these past few weeks have been rough. Thank you for taking time to read this, I would appreciate any help you can provide, thank you.

                      #7195

                      KathyN
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                        Hey Christopher,
                        So glad that you finally have your degree. This should help to open new doors for you. It is only natural to be discouraged when things don’t seem to be happening as they should. You have spent many years getting your education and you might want to look for the type of work that you could best benefit from your education. With your love of music, there might be a possiblity that you could teach music? You wouldn’t have to give up your dream of performing, but if you can just secure a job that will let you get ahead financially that is a start. Secondly, if you truly enjoy what you are doing that will add to your fulfillment. It is easier to plan after you can see the direction that you will be taking. So the first step would be to land that job. Then work toward getting yourself a small apartment, or if it would work out possibly with a room mate. Everything is so expensive now. You might not want to pressure yourself about a relationship until you have achieved these first two goals. If you can just do something every day to work on these goals, step by step you will know that you are doing all that you can. Right now due to the economy, the music industry is having its share of problems. How many times do we look at a CD in a store and think about buying it but realizing that we shouldn’t spend the money? People are also finding it more difficult to afford concert tickets. Unfortunately, this is the real world right now. Again, don’t give up on your dream even though you might need to put it on the back burner for now. Hope this helps–

                        Take care,
                        🙂

                        #7198

                        christopherj
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                          Hi kathy,

                          Lately, i’ve just been thinking, wondering about when my time will finally get here, the time for me to finally the become the person I’ve always wanted to be, whatever that may be. A lot of times, i see my friends who are out in the real world making a name for themselves, out there working, taking on opportunities that come by, gaining experience, earning money. Now, that’s not saying that i haven’t been doing something, I still have my church, working the chorus at my former voice teacher’s opera company, but, lately, i just get tired of always telling my friends the same thing over and over, how i’m just looking for more work, going to my church job, singing in the opera company, same old, same old, I don’t want things to always be same old, same old, i want things to be different. I guess I just keep wondering when things will start to change and improve, I feel I’m trying to change things, but it’s not enough, it can get frustrating. I do think sometimes about how i am in the slow lane of life, stuck and can’t seem to shift into the fast lane and catch up to other people who are farther ahead. I’ve tried things like getting on online dating sites, but they never seem to work for me, can get me kind of down sometimes. I’ve tried going to karaoke contests to help get my name and voice out to the world, still have managed to win but i’ve always try to keep the faith and hope alive. Idk, life is all about timing, things aren’t set in stone, I just keep wondering if my time will come sooner more then later. If you have any insight at all, about what the future or my life might have in store for me, I would really appreciate it, thank you.

                          #7199

                          KathyN
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                            Hey Christopher,
                            You are so right about the chain of events in life not being set in stone. However, there are several different paths available to you and it might just be a matter of which path you choose to take. Right now you are realizing that what you have so far isn’t enough and you are looking to expand. In order to do this you might need to alter some of the things that are going on in your life right now. You really do enjoy your work with the church choir and with the chorus with the opera company. You live in an area where things aren’t close by, involving a lengthy commute.

                            Would there be a possiblity of work for you with a large church in your local community? Many successful popular singers have started in gospel music. Also as backup singers. I know your dream is to be a solo artist, but backup or a group singer is a good start. Also the karaoke singing is a good way to get exposure. Especially if there is a band out there looking for a new member.

                            Another possiblity is that you could commute by public transportation into the metropolitan area where more jobs might be available. Look for the jobs where you have the necessary qualifications or if training is an option. If you could get an administrative job in a music related industry that could be a plus. I am thinking radio station, recording company, etc. You would also enjoy a service related industry where you could help others. Right now you need a full time job where you can earn enough money and be able to save. It seems that the money might be slow coming in but once it does it will be steady.

                            It seems like things are slow to happen for you, but once they start to turn around then the rest might fall into place more rapidly. I would caution you to be very careful with online dating. People aren’t necessarily who they claim to be and this could result in heartache and confusion. Also, be careful with social networking. It is a great way to share thoughts and keep up with your friends, but you wouldn’t want it to appear to a potential employer that you have idle time on your hands. Just treat each job interview as if you get that job it will be your primary focus.

                            So I hope that these ideas will help you. If you have questions please write again very soon. We are always glad to help.

                            Take care!
                            🙂

                            #7190

                            christopherj
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                              Hi Kathy,
                              I just wanted to let you know that I’ve recently started studying at home in order to take a certification test to qualify me to work in the IT department. One of my friends told me about it a number of weeks ago, so i’ve been trying to put in the hours to learn the material. Not gonna lie, it has not been easy, since you are learn everything there is to know about computers, the information is a lot to take in. I have always had an interest in computers, technology, so I’m just hoping that my passion and interest in the field will help drive me to keep going. This was also the only thing that I’ve been able to think of doing that could finally land me a real job, i just don’t know when. But the other thing is that another one of my friends mentioned asked me if i was interested in being a sound engineer, and as soon as he said that, i remember when you had suggested a job in the recording company many times before. After he said that, I started going online and researching the field, watch youtube videos of various recording programs, checking out art school that have programs in sound design, sound production. I have decided that I want to learn to be a music producer, I just think that it would be the perfect field for me, someone who loves music, has a great ear for it, also loves technology, getting involved in using various programs, learn how to make music, but also learn how to work with people, deal with business aspects of music and gain the real world experience that i really need. There is a great school in los angeles that has a 6 month mentoring program with real producers and sound engineers, where you learn in real recording studios, one on one. I really want to go, but with the tuition and loans, I don’t know when that will be, maybe if i find a job soon, since I don’t want to have to take out a lot more loan money on top of what i have already. Anyways, just wanted to let you know where I was at, i hope that things will work out and will be to finally start a new chapter in my life that I have wanted to do for a long time.

                              #7203

                              KathyN
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                                Hey Christopher,
                                It is really great that you are checking out different opportunities and continuing to learn. Just wondering though, would your heart really be in IT for the long term? That is also a profession which might be hard to get into. There are recent graduates who majored in computer science who are having difficulty landing good paying jobs. However, the more knowledge you have about various different areas of IT will help you in the business world.

                                As for music production, could your college credits count toward the necessary education requirements? Could there be a band looking for a musician’s assistant, i.e.; someone who helps get the sound stage set up for performances? Having an ear for music and sound is more of a natural ability that would be enhanced with experience. There are some older bands out there who have reunited for tours. These guys might not necessarily be wanting to set up their own equipment and would apprecite having a younger guy to do it. This could be a way to get your toe in the door of the music industry. I sense that you might need to start out in a small role to become known to musicians. You might find a mentor when someone recognizes your talent and enthusiasm.

                                You are wise not to start with any more schooling until you have paid off your loans. However, you should continue with any education that is of no cost to you. You are on the road to your future and there are many different paths along the way. It all depends on which direction you choose to go. You just can’t turn on every path though. It is kind of like being at Disneyland– where you can’t go on every ride.

                                You could do well with a start in a position which might not be very exciting in the beginning, but could lead you to better things. Have you considered looking for work in a store that sells sheet music and musical instruments? Those kind of stores might be something of the past because so many people have resorted to online shopping, but there are still a few out there. Would your college credits qualify you to become a voice teacher? For some reason the name “Wilson” comes to my mind. Does this mean something to you?

                                There is a possiblity of you enjoying working in a store where “Oldies” music is sold– like collector’s items such as old vinyl records. Your love of music could open you to an association with someone who could point you in the direction of a contact who could give you a break in the industry. Keep on entering contests that don’t cost you anything to enter– even if you don’t win first place it can give you exposure to talent scouts.

                                So if you can take some time to think about what I have said and then write back with your thoughts? Please keep in touch to let us know how you are doing–

                                Take Care!
                                🙂

                                #7204

                                christopherj
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                                  Thank you for replying Kathy, thought about what you said. The name Wilson does not ring a bell, unless it’s a name i’ve yet to come across. Also, I know of one store in the area that sells sheet music and instruments, checked to see if they were hiring or not, we will see what happens. Also, there is one store that I know of that sells records, cds, just emailed them to see if they were hiring. The school idea, i’m sure that the credits i got from fullerton could help, just in terms of the music classes i took, my experience and knowledge in music, but they were more so looking for someone that is passionate and loves music, wants to really be involved in it, which I definitely have. I do wish that I could go there right now and just start learning. Maybe, it’s because just so ready to move on with my life, get out from where i’m at.

                                  I love my family and my home, but I have just been feeling, maybe being a guy and being 26, that I really am long overdue for having my own place and being just to really live my own life, I start to get antsy sometimes. One my friends back at fullerton had asked me to move in with him, it sounded great and i was so ready to jump at the chance of moving out, but after thinking about it, i realized it wouldn’t have worked. My friend said he would be able to get my a job at the supermarket he works at, not for sure, but if I were to get it, i’d have to try and use all that money to try and pay rent, since any money i make from church job goes to paying loans, so i would be left with no income at all. Then if i were to move out to fullerton, i’d have to figure out how to get to whittier for my church job, figure out transportation since i don’t have a car, overall just too much hassle, would not work out.

                                  Thought about the teaching thing, hesitant about since i’ve never done it before, have never done any teaching personally, I know some friends who have done it, are currently doing it, aren’t necessarily music ed majors, I have just never thought of myself as a teacher, always saw myself as a performer or someone in the recording field, like a producer. I have considered it though, but I guess it’s just never felt like me, so i’ve never tried to pursue it. The music production/producer really struck a code with me and is definitely something that I want to do. I just think that it fits me so well. From reading what the 6 month program offered, it felt like it was something that would cost way more then it did, for around 8 thousand, the networking and the knowledge, job opportunities i could gain, would be huge. But, at the same time, if I had the money, i would be a new computer, and set up my room like a studio and just learn from home, if i could, maybe save money.

                                  The band idea would be cool, if something were to ever come up, i would definitely be down to be involved with that, the only real way to learn about the music business is to involve yourself in it, whether in a studio or on stage. I know that music will and has always been my primary interest and passion, other ideas have always been secondary, the reason for the IT job was so that I could use the money to help for the 6-month music production program at the recording school, but also just so i could have a steady job and start saving and earning money. At this point, i will take any job opportunity that comes my way, not wanting to be picky. I just want to do what i have to do and get to where i can support myself and become self-sufficient, independent and responsible, which I know my mom my sister want for me.

                                  They both know how frustrated, depressed i’ve been, how much i’ve been searching for work, thinking of things to do, going to auditions, contests that don’t pan out, they want to see me finally succeed. I told them that i am getting so tired of telling my friends, when they ask what i have been up to, that i’m just doing the same old stuff, which is true, i haven’t done anything new a long time, while most of my friends, a lot of friends are always doing something new. I was honestly jealous, envious of that, happy for them, but just kind of depressed that i haven’t been able to find anything for myself. The IT and recording school, if it ever manages to go through, i thought it could finally be my new thing i could tell people when they ask what i’ve been up to, no more same old stuff. Thank for your continued help and support, oh, i entered in to try and being a new music competition on tv called “duets” on abc, will see if i get in or not, maybe this will be my time, who knows, i am kind of tired of the contests and auditions though, maybe just a little tired of the rejections, but hey, that’s the entertainment business, gotta take the good with the bad.

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