Relationship question


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  • #7145

    christopherj
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      Hi,
      I had recently posted on my facebook that I’ve been tired of playing the waiting game and that I would like to be able to just go up to the person that i’ve been interested in and just tell her how I feel but I’ve been just playing it safe and not saying anything. One of my other friends said that I should just go for it because if I don’t do anything then I would end up not knowing at all if it may have worked out. I’ve been really interested in my friend Kristen (4/11/89) but allot of time with how busy we’ve been with school I haven’t had time to interact with her as much. I know that I have mentioned other girls in the past but I think in my mind I’ve been interested in her since we first started in cal state fullerton back in fall 2007 but I’ve just never knew what to say and at the time she was involved. I haven’t really done much in terms of pursue any relationships since what happened with my friend Lauren. I do feel though that each I just think about how I’ve been waiting around for years never having ever been on a date before never having found anyone that was really interested in me. I’ve gotten tired of waiting around and thought that maybe I should go and put myself out there. I just wish I knew if it was something that would work out with kristen and i, if I had a chance of really showing her how much i care about her and what she means to me.

      #7146

      KathyN
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        Christopher,
        You might want to take this slow and first find out if Kristen is involved with someone right now. If she isn’t, then you might want to ask her out. In the beginning as you are just getting to know her, you might want to be a bit careful about telling her how much she means to you. This might make her uncomfortable until she has had the opportunity to really get to know you.

        Your friend is right, you do need to take the chance. I have a feeling that if you talked to some of the guys, you would find that a lot of them have been turned down when they have asked a girl for a date. They just keep trying until they find someone who does want to go out with them.

        I have a feeling that once you start dating a special lady, that it will be a lasting relationship.

        Take care!
        🙂

        #7147

        christopherj
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          Hi Kathy,
          I’ve been really busy with school since this semester is almost over in these last few weeks then I will technically be on to my last year if all goes well, which I really hope and pray that it does cause I can see my graduation day in sight, I just want to really do my best and make sure I stay on track. Aside from that, i was wondering if you might have any insight in terms my friend Tara (10/27/88) and I. I hung out with her for the first time today, she invited me to this event that was going on at the college dorms where they were giving away free subway sandwiches and free temporary and henna tattoos. It was really fun and it was great to get out and not think about the stress of school. I had a lot of fun talking to her and just hanging out with her. I don’t know if their will be anything happening in the future but I would it would be really nice if it did. I know though she is very busy with everything going on at school but anyways, if their is anything you might have regarding this, I would really appreciate it, thank you.

          #7148

          KathyN
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            Christopher,
            It is good to hear from you! Things seem to be going well for you at school. You have been working hard and you are getting ready for your last year before graduation. You have known all along what you needed to do to make it happen– and you are making it happen!

            Tara obviously enjoys being with you. She invited you to attend the event with her. You might not know much about her at this point, but why not ask her to have coffee or a soda with you? If she accepts you can then decide if you would want to ask her for a date. I honestly don’t know the outcome, only that you need to make this attempt. If she is extremely busy at the time but really would like to go out with you, she will make it easy for you. She most likely would tell you when she would be available, i.e.; after finals, etc.

            For the long term, I strongly feel that you will ultimately end up with someone who has a background similar to yours. Someone who is quiet and sort of fades into the background. She will be extremely supportive of you and your endeavors. You will feel her love and support as your career is getting underway.

            Please keep in touch to let us know how things are working out for you–

            Take care!
            🙂

            #7149

            christopherj
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              Hi,
              The reason for my post is because I’m finally in finals week and it’s been stressing me out like crazy. I had a final for my music theory class that I have no idea how well I did. I really didn’t feel that great and don’t know if I will pass the class or not. Then, I’ve got a music history final on thursday where I have to land at least a B on to pass the class. All this is leading up to me graduating supposedly in spring 2011 which would be on time with everybody else in my year. I’ve been trying so hard to not worry, not stress since I’m terrible at handling it and have always had stress issues, but it just gets so hard. I’m trying to just let go and just have faith that it will all be okay. I just wish I could just know that it will all be okay, wish I had that definite answer. I would appreciate any insight you would have into this, thank you.

              #7150

              KathyN
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                Christopher,
                I really do sense that all will be ok– during this school year things had been going more smoothly for you and you felt good about school. It is just because you are feeling stressed that you are doubting your ability to do well. If you do not do as well as you had hoped on one test, your regular classwork and projects should help to balance the end result.

                So just continue to study and focus on the end result. If you just relax you should have a better than 80% chance of having the results that you desire.

                Take care!
                🙂

                #7151

                christopherj
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                  Thank you so much!

                  #7152

                  KathyN
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                    Christopher,
                    Please keep in touch and let us know how everything turns out with finals!

                    Take care!
                    🙂

                    #7153

                    christopherj
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                      Hi,
                      So I received all my grades in and I did really well, i received eighth a’s, one b, and one c. The reason for all those grades is because being a music major, we are forced to take a lot of classes just to get the minimum twelve units to be a full-time student which can be really hard sometimes and I wonder why i decided to be a music major in the first place. But, then i realize that it was because of my strong love and passion for singing and touching people’s hearts with song and lifting people’s spirits with music. I’m on summer break now and it’s been alright so far but I’m running into the problem of having too much free time on my hands and starting to think about life, which sometimes can be counter-productive for me. I’ve been thinking about if I will make it through my last year in school and be able to find a career and be able to start it and become a truly independent responsible man that I’ve been trying to work towards for so long. Will i meet all my goals and dreams that I’ve had for years or will they just be that, goals and dreams, but unfulfilled. I wonder if this break will be a real worth-wiled break or will it just be another time where i can’t wait to be back in school.

                      I’m really trying to tell myself that everything will work out, to keep the faith and know that everything will be alright. My mind has also thought about relationships and of course the ever popular question of when that will finally work out for me but i just keep telling myself that it will happen one of these days, maybe when i get back to school. I’m excited though for my last year, it could be my best year yet. Any insight though that you might have into this would be very much appreciated, thank you.

                      #7154

                      KathyN
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                        Hi Christopher,
                        So you see– everything did work out just fine with your final exams! You did well and you should continue to do well next year.

                        During the summer you could possibly start working on your resume. You will need this as you are in your last year of college next year. Have you considered looking for a summer job? It might not be the kind of work you would want, but it could help you to get a little bit of money ahead.

                        As for your career, there are so many avenues available in the music business. There is also a lot of competition. I do believe that you will do well, but it may take several years before you can achieve all of your goals. I sense that you might do well in the area of choreography.

                        If you are attending a church social group there is a chance that you might meet someone during the summer. It could happen before you return to school.

                        Just enjoy your summer and be thinking of what you can do to prepare for your future. That way you will feel that you are doing all that you can at the present time.

                        Take care!
                        🙂

                        #7155

                        christopherj
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                          Hi,
                          So, there is this girl that I really like from school named Michelle (11/30/91) but I don’t know if I should really do anything or not, maybe let things just take it’s course. I know that when i was interested in my friend Lauren, all these signals were flying which made it seem like she really liked me and I thought she was interested so I went for it but it ended up not working out and made things feel really awkward, now Lauren and I don’t talk that much anymore. But, Michelle have been having great conversations on facebook chat for a while now, some of which she started and I’ve had a great time talking to her. I even invited her out to my hometown in pasadena to hangout and she said she would definitely come out so I am really looking forward to that as I know she is too. So, it seems that there are signals flying again and I think she really likes me but I just don’t know. I’m not even sure right now if she is available, i really believe she is by how she’s been talking to me, how long we spend talking, but I just don’t what this to go all wrong and end up ruining my great friendship i have with her. Maybe I should just not do anything and just go with the flow. Anyways, anything you might have into this, i’d really appreciate it, thank you.

                          #7156

                          KathyN
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                            Hey Christopher,

                            You might want to take this one step at a time– Spend some time hanging out with her as a friend, find out in conversations if she is available. She might give some hints– then you will be able to decide if you would like to pursue this further.

                            Don’t let things that have happened in the past with other girls discourage you– when you meet that special someone you will know that she likes you. You won’t have to guess–

                            Take care!
                            🙂

                            #7157

                            christopherj
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                              Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it. I think I may have jumped the gun with Michelle. We’ve been talking for a while now on facebook chat and I thought that I would ask her out because I felt that I was attracted to her and she said yes and that we should take it slow and see where things would go and if there was a chance of us having a relationship. I think I was so excited and she liked people who were very straightforward and direct, so i had sent some fb msgs about how I felt about her, basically put everything on table and she seemed to like it, said it was very sweet of me. But after a while, I’ve started to feel that I might be the only one invested in this, like I’m the only one putting out how I feel, like I’m the only one who wants this relationship to work even though she was one who said yes to me and said that she would give me a chance, which made it sound like she was interested in me, like she thought I deserved a chance.

                              But most of the time, I’ve been the one that would initiate most of the fb conversations, even though she’s seemed to have fun talking to me, I’ve been feeling a lot of the time that maybe she’s been talking to me more just like a friend instead of someone who wants to be my girlfriend. I’ve never once heard how she really feels about me, if she truly feels at all like she might want to be my girlfriend, it’s all been me telling her so it feels very one-sided to me, which i’ve been through before so i know what that feels like. On top of that, she says that she wants a partner which would also mean that there would be communication between the two people but she also hardly ever would respond to text msgs which can get frustrating when I’ve really wanted to make this work. I just think i have not found the right person yet even though i really thought she was the one. I guess the right person is still out there, I just hope, it would be great if i could finally find her soon.

                              #7158

                              KathyN
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                                So she did say that she would like to go out with you? It appears that this has not happened yet. She said that she wanted to take things slow– this isn’t the time to be telling her how you feel about her. It is important to get to know one another slowly. She might not want to be texted quite so often. It might be wise to send her one message and then wait for her to reply. Too much attention can be overwhelming. It might be wise to back off a bit. If she is interested she will initiate communication.

                                I still have a strong sense that you might meet someone thru a church social group. This might be someone who isn’t into the social networking and texting. Communication might be via the old fashioned way, the land-line telephone. I sense that you will find someone who truly cares for you and will be supportive, just not so “on the go” as the other girls that you have met.

                                There is a song “Looking for Love in all the wrong places”. It makes me think of your situation. Have you considered looking in places other than school?

                                Take care!
                                🙂

                                #7159

                                christopherj
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                                  Hi Kathy,
                                  I was just wondering what your insights were on my upcoming last school year and my life in general.

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