Love Issues


This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  KathyN 7 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #6513

    anonymous
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    I have been feeling very disappointed, hurt, and frustrated lately about my love life, any help or insight would be appreciated 🙂
    I was dating this guy for about 2-3 months, and things seemed to be going absolutely awesome and getting quite serious. I’m usually pretty perceptive of people, and I was very careful with it all (due to some painful past experiences when I was a little more niave)– he seemed very genuine in how much he liked me and cared for me. I really didn’t get the vibe that he was after me just for sex either. I don’t want to give unecessary excessive details, but there seemed to be a lot of serendpity in our situation, and by coincidence our lives have crossed paths many times for like 5 years until we finally met. We’ve never seemed to have any negativity or much for conflict in our relationship. Last time we saw eachother was amazing too (he didn’t see me for a few days and was super eager to again– we just cuddled and talked, he expressed how much he missed me). Then we didn’t end up seeing eachother for like a week, and only talked over facebook messages, where I feel like some miscommunication and unintentional drama happened. I’m also a little worried that sometimes my own negativity, fears, and bad perceptions sometimes have an effect on my current relationships. We dated and broke up once before due to us both being insecure. We ended up breaking up and both agreed on some distance, although neither one of us said why or discussed anything.

    This was about a month ago, and we have been recently chatting and joking around and stuff again, and he said he would try and make it to this party that is at my place this weekend. I think that maybe the distance was for the best, but now I really miss him and stuff. I’m feeling kind of heartbroken and disappointed about this, and it doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to me. What are the chances that he still likes me or that we will reunite, and if not with him then what should I be looking for or doing to find the right guy?

    #7787

    KathyN
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    Allie,

    I sense that he is otherwise involved during the time that you are apart. He should not be allowed to think that he can just waltz in and out of your life as he pleases. Even though you do enjoy being together, he is not being totally honest with you. If you get back together with him you might experience more of the same type of behavior.

    When you meet someone who wants to make the relationship a priority and who wants to consider your needs first and foremost, you will know that he is sincere. So if you feel that the guy you are seeing now isn’t doing this, then you don’t need to worry about putting too much effort into rekindling this relationship.

    Please keep in touch to let us know how things are going!

    Take care!
    🙂

    #7788

    anonymous
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    Hey, thanks so much for your reply. I’m feeling quite a bit heartbroken and disappointed right now, but you were very right. He still wanted to keep me ‘in touch’ and sort of on the sidelines, but apparntly lost interest so that he didn’t want an actual relationship. I think he has a habit of doing this with a lot of girls though, acting super interested for a while then just.. not I guess. This is just REALLY hard because he seemed SO incredibly sincere, I’ve never had a guy seem so. This is just really hard for me to absorb. I think the point where he did lost a lot of interest was after we finally had sex, if I’m honest with myself. I don’t know, maybe he’s just a “chaser”. It’s just hard to believe that he’s so full of it and not genuine. I wanted to feel him out at first and let him know how I feel, otherwise I felt like I would regret it and not be able to let go completely to move on. When I told him that nah, you’re not really what I’m looking for in a boyfriend, I putting you under the ‘stoner guy friend’ sort of category”, he got mad and actually blocked me off of facebook. Ugh what a drama quen, this is bull. I can’t believe I was essentially played… This really scares me, I really don’t know how to tell when someone actually is genuine or not anymore. I really don’t know the reason I was supposed to go through this,if any, or what I was supposed to learn.

    Do you think you could provide any insight at all on the guy that is right for me? Like maybe where or what I should be looking for? I’m trying my best to just forget and put this all behind me as much as possible and remain open to something real.

    #7789

    KathyN
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    Allie,
    So sorry that he turned out to be a total jerk! It is fortunate that you were able to realize it before you invested too much time and emotion into this relationship. When you meet someone who starts out sincere and remains sincere that will be a sign that he is a good person. If he stays in contact with you and doesn’t fade in and out you will know that he is definitely interested. Relationships need to go through the test of time.

    A good place to meet someone who might share your interests would be through an activity that you enjoy. If you can find the time for volunteer work with an organization that you support you could meet like-minded individuals.

    Remember– better days are ahead!

    Take care!
    🙂

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