Is he using me?????

[queenjanine69]

Ok so I know what I am doing is wrong but anyways here goes.... 4 years ago my husband and I met another married couple who we became really good friends with. Unfortunately this other man and I started an affair. We claimed to love eachother and the affair continued for a year. I then one night Tunder the influence of a lot of alcohol confessed to my husband what had happened. I was immediately sorry that I had told and my world felt like it had ended. My husband and I worked through our issues and obviously cut all ties with this couple until about a year agon when we all landed up being good friends. Everything was fine for about 6 months and then this man and I started innocently phoning eachother and one thing lead to another. We have had long talks about what we are doing and know that it is wrong and that we would each never leave our partners because we wouldn't hurt them like that. My question is.... He claims that he loves me and that its not all about sex, is he lying to me? I also don't trust him very much given the circumstances and always wonder if he is doing this with someone else as well although he swears he isn't. Please help me to understand what is going on his head.

[Kathy N]

I sense that the "other man" is intrigued with the challenge. He enjoys doing something that is forbidden. There is obviously an attraction on both of your parts. You have confessed this to your husband and you have worked through this. Don't make the mistake of allowing your attraction to this other man ruin your marriage. You both know there would be no future together as well, since you both would never consider leaving your respective spouses.

It might be in your best interest to let this friendship with the other couple just dwindle away. You have a good and forgiving husband. I think you know what you must do.

Best wishes,