Relationship question

[christopherj]

I was wondering if with my friend Courtney (May 25, 1991) and I (11/18/1985) would have ever had a chance at having a relationship together. I know that we have been close friends for a long time now but something like a having a relationship with her hadn't been something that I had really thought about till a little while back when we hung out on this past valentine's day. We had always hung though before then and have always had fun together that I thought it could work, for me I've always felt an attraction to her but then at this point I don't think that she feels the same way like I thought she did before. I just wonder if maybe there isn't a chance anymore and since she will be going off to new york soon for school that it might not work anyway. I mean I wouldn't want to end up doing something to damage our long friendship. So, I would very much appreciate some insight into this, thank you.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
Since she has been a long time friend, you might just want to ask her to have dinner with you before she leaves for the east. You would have a better sense at that time as to how you should approach this. I see her as being excited about going away to school, a bit anxious and apprehensive all at the same time. If she knows that she can keep in touch with her friends from back home she most likely will appreciate this. You could ask her to stay in touch via e-mail.

As for you, it seems like you will eventually be spending more time with someone who you possibly already know, but have not come to know on a personal level yet. I sense this young lady may have a similar background to your's. You most likely will get to know her during this forthcoming school year.

So as for Courtney, I think you already know that it would not be a good idea to approach any ideas of a commitment with her going away to school. Just keep the friendship, this is very important. For your new friend, this might be someone who is serious about school and eventual career. She may not be as much into just "hanging out". She most likely will be of a quiet demeanor, also a bit shy, and sensitive. You will appreciate her friendship more and more as you get to know her.

Please keep us posted as to how you are doing--

sincerely,
Kathy N.

[christopherj]

Thanks so much for the help Kathy, I really appreciate it. Lately along with relationships, I've just been hoping for many great improvements, changes in my life during this coming fall semester. I know that for my sister, her life sure has improved with her new job out in Arizona. For myself, I really want to be able to say that I have improved, become more independent, more responsible, met my goals in life. So, I just hope that everything will work out for the better maybe not just in my life but for my family and my friends's lives too.

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,

Your attitude is awesome! You seem to be happy! When I focus in on you I sense that you recognize your goals and know what you need to do to achive these goals.

I feel that this will be a good year for you with school, and that you will be doing everything that you can to make it that way!

Please keep us posted--

[christopherj]

Thanks again Kathy, I appreciate your insight. One new thing though that I would appreciate your insight on is about my friends. Lately I've been wondering if I've done something wrong because I haven't been able to get in contact with some of my friends like Sami 8/17/90, Hannah and worry that I may have said something wrong or did something wrong. Since being on summer break I had planned on hanging out with my friends from school so I had e-mailed Hannah, Sami but have never heard from them. I just wondering if maybe they've just been busy or if it's something else. I had hoped that I would get the chance to hang out with Hannah since I have been interested in her but then I don't know if she even knows how I feel or if she even feels the same way. Anyways, i would very much appreciate your insight with this, thank you.
-Christopher
11/18/85
-If you would also be able to offer some help with my friend La'ryn and why I haven't been able to talk her I would be very grateful, thank you.

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,
I sense that Sami and Hannah have both been very busy this summer, perhaps travelling. This is the time when friends can't check their e-mail on a daily basis. Often times we plan more than our schedules will permit and we just can't get everyone and everything in. Please stop thinking that this has anything to do with what you might have said or done, because I have a feeling that you will be talking to these friends very soon. Your conversations with them will verify this. You will just find out that everyone had a very full summer.

As for La'Ryn, I am not sure that she has received a message from you. She might not be available to return a phone call or e-mail. All of this will be explained to you in the very near future. When you return to school, it is Hannah who shares your interest in music. I feel that you will have a lasting friendship with her, but also there is someone else who you may already know of, or you will meet early on in the school year. I sense that this friendship will really take hold around the holidays.

Please let us know--

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
Wanted to give you an update. School has started and things have been going well so far with my classes, my apartment, room mates, things like that. In terms of what we had talked about before, I hope to hear from Hannah soon so will get a chance to talk and hang out. I've run into Sami a few times and I get the feeling that she likes me but I'm not sure. I saw a posting on her facebook that she liked a certain boy but I wasn't sure if that was directed at me or somebody else. I've called her, e-mailed her a few times but she's never really responded and when I try to text or call her she rarely replies back so i don't really know what to make of all of it, is there any between Sami and I besides friends? I would really appreciate the insight. Also, I was wondering if there could be relationship potential between my friend Krista and I. I've talked to her a couple times around school and she's really nice and just a great person to talk to, so i wondering if there could be any chemistry there between us? One of the reasons for me asking you these questions is because my friend Connor is having a dance at his house next month and I would love to be able to go to with someone and maybe have it help us become better friends, maybe possibly boyfriend and girlfriend, I'm just not sure how would be interested. So, if you could please provide some insight into this I would really appreciate it, thank you.
-Christopher

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,

So glad to hear that the school year has started out well for you. As I focus on Sami, I sense that she has another interest right now. However, that interest might not last for too very long.

It is important to remember that our future is not etched in stone. There are various different paths that we can choose to venture down. As I think about Krista, I have a feeling that you might have seen or known of her before, but that you have not had the opportunity to get to know her until now. I have a feeling that Krista might become a special friend for you.

As for the dance, that is a perfect place for a first date. You would both be among friends that you know. This would be a comfortable atmosphere. It is very important to ask the lady of your choosing at least a week in advance, if possible 2 weeks in advance.

You have very good intuitions, and if you go with them I believe that you will make the right choice. It would be perfectly fine to go to the dance as friends and see where the friendship leads. I have a feeling that Krista might be the right choice for you!

Please keep us posted and take care!

[christopherj]

Thank you for the help. I actually just started really talking to my friend shannon (10/2/89) and I was just wondering if there could be a possibility for us to have a relationship. Thank you so much for your insight with krista, I hope everything works out.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
I know you have been friends with Shannon for a long time now. She seems to fade in and out, and it seems to have much to do with what is going on in her life at the time. While it is important to sustain longtime friendships, it is also important to get to know other people. Keep up the friendship with Shannon, but don't be disappointed if she should become a bit distant in the near future. I sense that she does not really know what she wants in the way of long range goals right now.

I think it is very important that you give Krista a chance right now. I sense that she is a bit more quiet and serious than some of the other girls who you know. She seems to be grounded and knows when people are sincere. If she likes you, she will make things easy for you. I think this friendship is too important to let it slip by!

Take care!