Relationship question

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
I am so truly sorry about what happened to your mom. She has experienced two traumatic events simultaneously. Hopefully she has homeowner's/renter's insurance? Sadly those who burglarize homes do not think about who they are hurting. Their only focus is getting what they can and not getting caught. Is there any type of neighborhood watch in place? Hopefully, the local police are working on this and profiling similar cases. It is unfortunate that many robbery cases remain unsolved.

I sense that your mom's house is in a fairly quiet middle-class neighborhood. Since her house was targeted twice, it could be someone from the neighborhood who knows her routine. Were any other homes in the neighborhood also burglarized? Although right now it would be difficult, but would she eventually be in a position to move to a safer neighborhood?

I sense that the loss of her job was due primarily to company cut-backs. Would there be an opportunity for rehire? I think she is very good with people. I feel that she will be working again very soon in an area where she will be helping people. She will need your support-- is there a chance you could go home over some weekends?

If you could start planning ahead and possibly get a summer job you would be able to help your mom. She is very proud of you and I think it would please her to see you take this important step.

Please keep in touch and let us know how the both of you are doing--

[christopherj]

Hi,
My mom has been doing alright, just keeping busy with part-time jobs and stuff around the house. She also managed to get our old desktop computer fixed so that she could get work done and have internet and e-mail. Though on a different note, I was wondering if I might be able to receive your insight on something regarding my friend Allie (9/11/89). I had sent her an e-mail a while back because I was feeling that we never really friends and that there was this distance between us since she would hardly ever talk to me at school and I'd chat with her off and on online. So, after a while she replied saying that she never thought we had a problem because I get she never really considered us good friends, i guess more like acquaintances. So, after that it made me think that there would be no chance of her ever having an interest in me like I've had in her. Then, yesterday, i saw her on facebook and we had a nice little chat online and then i came across something in her status that I though was pretty serious that someone i said about her and I posted a comment saying how i thought it was wrong from someone to have said what they said and that I thought whoever it was should stop what he/she was doing. I thought I had done the right thing till some of my friends posted after me telling to cool down and not take it so seriously, some were joking around about it. I ended up sending her an e-mail telling her that i made to much of it and apologized for going off like i did. I just wonder after that, how allie will look at that, what she thinks of me, if there ever could be something between us? I remember talking with my room mate about my luck with trying to meet girls and finding those who might interested in me like I'm interested in them. I know you've said that I should be talking to people in person instead through e-mails or online chats, but a part of me is very apprehensive and scared because I don't know who is interested in me and who isn't and I've had allot of experiences already where i've tried that and it's backfired every single time where it''s only been me showing that interest in someone. That's why i've been playing it safe all this time and just tried to talk to people online but then it's hasn't been getting me anywhere. My room mate asking one day if i had any girls i was interested in and I said no because i thought with my luck they wouldn't be interested in me or they would already be seeing someone, which has basically been that exact thing every time i've tried to ask a girl out. Idk, I'm really trying to focus on school, but of course at the same time, i can't help but think about it and wonder when that person will show up or is really interested in me.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
The main problem with posts on a social networking site is that people's comments are often misinterpreted. There is not a margin for privacy. It has become a hobby for many people. You have done everything that you can by sending Allie a private e-mail to let her know that you were being supportive of her.

She obviously enjoys this interactive on-line communication with many friends. I am sorry, but as I have mentioned before I do think that Allie is involved with someone at this time. She doesn't appear to be open to furthering new friendships right now.

I have a very good feeling that when you go home for the summer to your mother's house, you might meet someone new or renew an old friendship. If you attend some church activites there might be a young lady who you either know of, or don't know well at this point. It is definitely something to think about when you go home for Spring break--

Best wishes--

[christopherj]

Hey,
So I can't believe it's getting so close towards my last year here at college, if I can just get through this spring semester then I will be on to my last year, I hope. I've just gotten through two of my three mid-terms this semester and I'm just praying that I passed them. I really really hope I can do well this semester and pass all my classes, it's been quite a stressful semester with classes, rehearsals, performances, I've just been trying to keep myself focused and on track but of course it hasn't been the easiest but I just hope that I am doing what needs to be done, doing the right things to make it through and succeed. Knowing that next year could very well be my last year, I can't help but think what I will do as my career, how will I support myself, what does the future hold for me? I been praying that my future will be a very bright one, if I can succeed and make it through school like I said I would do and graduate this coming spring of 2011. If you might have any insight into this, I would very much appreciate it, thank you.

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,
It is good to hear from you! You already know what you need to do to succeed and finish school and graduate on schedule. I have every confidence that you can make this happen. Just don't allow yourself to become distracted.

As for your career, what do you really want to do? You are obviously majoring in music. It would help to start developing your resume during summer break. Also, a summer work experience could be beneficial. It most likely wouldn't be in your chosen profession, but could be an important step. You would do well working in a store where music is sold. I am thinking perhaps vintage records, CDs, tapes, etc. I think this is something that you would enjoy.

You will be thinking about your future alot during the next school year. If you know what you want to pursue in the way of a career, you can begin to research various possibilities.

This should be an exciting time for you! Please keep in touch and let us know how things are working out for you--

[christopherj]

Hi,
I had recently posted on my facebook that I've been tired of playing the waiting game and that I would like to be able to just go up to the person that i've been interested in and just tell her how I feel but I've been just playing it safe and not saying anything. One of my other friends said that I should just go for it because if I don't do anything then I would end up not knowing at all if it may have worked out. I've been really interested in my friend Kristen (4/11/89) but allot of time with how busy we've been with school I haven't had time to interact with her as much. I know that I have mentioned other girls in the past but I think in my mind I've been interested in her since we first started in cal state fullerton back in fall 2007 but I've just never knew what to say and at the time she was involved. I haven't really done much in terms of pursue any relationships since what happened with my friend Lauren. I do feel though that each I just think about how I've been waiting around for years never having ever been on a date before never having found anyone that was really interested in me. I've gotten tired of waiting around and thought that maybe I should go and put myself out there. I just wish I knew if it was something that would work out with kristen and i, if I had a chance of really showing her how much i care about her and what she means to me.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
You might want to take this slow and first find out if Kristen is involved with someone right now. If she isn't, then you might want to ask her out. In the beginning as you are just getting to know her, you might want to be a bit careful about telling her how much she means to you. This might make her uncomfortable until she has had the opportunity to really get to know you.

Your friend is right, you do need to take the chance. I have a feeling that if you talked to some of the guys, you would find that a lot of them have been turned down when they have asked a girl for a date. They just keep trying until they find someone who does want to go out with them.

I have a feeling that once you start dating a special lady, that it will be a lasting relationship.

Take care!

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I've been really busy with school since this semester is almost over in these last few weeks then I will technically be on to my last year if all goes well, which I really hope and pray that it does cause I can see my graduation day in sight, I just want to really do my best and make sure I stay on track. Aside from that, i was wondering if you might have any insight in terms my friend Tara (10/27/88) and I. I hung out with her for the first time today, she invited me to this event that was going on at the college dorms where they were giving away free subway sandwiches and free temporary and henna tattoos. It was really fun and it was great to get out and not think about the stress of school. I had a lot of fun talking to her and just hanging out with her. I don't know if their will be anything happening in the future but I would it would be really nice if it did. I know though she is very busy with everything going on at school but anyways, if their is anything you might have regarding this, I would really appreciate it, thank you.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
It is good to hear from you! Things seem to be going well for you at school. You have been working hard and you are getting ready for your last year before graduation. You have known all along what you needed to do to make it happen-- and you are making it happen!

Tara obviously enjoys being with you. She invited you to attend the event with her. You might not know much about her at this point, but why not ask her to have coffee or a soda with you? If she accepts you can then decide if you would want to ask her for a date. I honestly don't know the outcome, only that you need to make this attempt. If she is extremely busy at the time but really would like to go out with you, she will make it easy for you. She most likely would tell you when she would be available, i.e.; after finals, etc.

For the long term, I strongly feel that you will ultimately end up with someone who has a background similar to yours. Someone who is quiet and sort of fades into the background. She will be extremely supportive of you and your endeavors. You will feel her love and support as your career is getting underway.

Please keep in touch to let us know how things are working out for you--

Take care!

[christopherj]

Hi,
The reason for my post is because I'm finally in finals week and it's been stressing me out like crazy. I had a final for my music theory class that I have no idea how well I did. I really didn't feel that great and don't know if I will pass the class or not. Then, I've got a music history final on thursday where I have to land at least a B on to pass the class. All this is leading up to me graduating supposedly in spring 2011 which would be on time with everybody else in my year. I've been trying so hard to not worry, not stress since I'm terrible at handling it and have always had stress issues, but it just gets so hard. I'm trying to just let go and just have faith that it will all be okay. I just wish I could just know that it will all be okay, wish I had that definite answer. I would appreciate any insight you would have into this, thank you.