Relationship question

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,

In this busy day and age people seem to get caught up in the moment. There is so much on-line communication out there that someone is likely to read a post or comment and have something else on their mind. This results in totally forgetting to respond, or in some cases they might not think it is necessary. Because of your sensitive nature you would always respond to your friends. Sometimes it is hard to realize that others might not be so quick to do this.

You have a good sense for what makes proper communication. The lack of response has nothing to do with you, it is just a result of people being caught up in day to day activities. Like you said, your friends always talk to you when they see you at school. Please just don't worry about this! If it is making you uncomfortable, you might want to limit your on-line communications with these friends who do not respond. Waiting for a response which is slow in being delivered can result in anxiety and frustration. You do not need or deserve this! Just go back to school and enjoy this second semester!

Take care!

[christopherj]

Hi,
So school has been going well so far, busy but not bad. I'm doing my best to stay on track with classes and not be stressed or worried about things like I was last year. i was wondering though if you might have any insight into how this semester might progress for me, though like you have said and I know that futures are not set in stone, though of course I am trying my best to stay in that positive mindset, positive outlook when it comes to school and life. I have been finding myself thinking about things like valentine's day and even the school's homecoming game/dance that's coming up and I was thinking that maybe this could be the changing year for me where I actually will be really celebrating valentine's day with someone, which would be great!! One person that i have been thinking about is my friend Allie (9/11/89) and I know that i have been focused on different girls but i have been finding myself focusing on her as someone that I would love to get to know but I just wish i knew if she shared any feelings for me since in the past i never knew if any girls were actually interested in me and if there were, i've never known about it. Anyways, whatever help you would be able to provide would be very much appreciated, thank you.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
Your attitude towards this semester is awesome! You are focused, working hard, doing your very best, etc. School is going well for you because you are making it happen!

Are you in a position where you might be able to talk to Allie privately? You might want to try to find out if she could be seeing someone right now. It seems that there is a strong male presence around her, this could possibly be a good friend or a relative. However I cannot be certain how this person figures into her life. So until you are certain, you might want to take this slow and take the time to get to know her a bit better. Your intuition will be your guide!

Take care!

[christopherj]

Thank you. I know that you had said before that person who might be interested in me would have dark hair, though of course could that be something that would change since the future is not something that is clear cut? I always just wonder if the people that i'm always attracted are the right people. I have yet to really talk to Allie privately, we never actually talk in person or I guess on the phone for that matter though I have been chatting with her a number of times online. I don't know really know why she is more social with me online then in person, and it's hasn't been going for that long. I used to never be able to talk online for the longest time till last semester when she finally started chatting with me, I don't know if that is a sign for anything. Anyways, I know that you had said that everything will work out and I will find that special person who is really interested in me and i will know it and there won't be any confusion. I guess sometimes, i think about how long I've been waiting to really finally find and meet someone right for me when I run into people at school and hear stuff and I just wonder sometimes when my time will come. I know it will happen someday soon. I don't mean to repeat myself, i'm sry. Thank you again for all your help, i really appreciate it.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,

With Allie you might want to learn a little bit more about her before you make any decisions as to if you would want to ask her out. If you can establish that she is not otherwise involved then you might want to consider it. Often times people are shy and tend to be more open in written communication. She obviously enjoys communicating with you.

I still have a feeling that your special mystery woman will have dark hair, or that it will be her natural color! Women can change their hair color very easily and quickly!

Take care!

[christopherj]

Thanks for the insight. I do find it hard sometimes cause I've noticed how mind likes to do allot of wandering and I end up thinking allot about relationships, school and life in general, at times when I would rather not. I'm just trying my best to stay in that positive optomistic mindset and have faith that everything will work itself out and that i will meet my goals in life. I know that last year and years before, I've had big problems with stress and worry, that it would get to me allot but I'm really hoping this will be the year of change, for improvement in all aspects of my life, as well as for my family who I know has been looking and praying for improvement in my life, that i really become self-sufficient responsible adult, which of course I would love to be at that point. Thanks again for all your help.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
I sense that you have recognized within yourself that you have become more responsible and mature within the past year. You are focused on school and you are doing what it takes to do well and to graduate on schedule.

Have you thought about the possibility of a summer job? Even with the tight economy this might be a possibility. This experience might really help you to feel more independent. It would also help you to get a bit of money saved. I sense that you would do well in a place where music is sold. A place where CD's and perhaps vintage record collections are available. Your kind and patient nature would shine through in this area of customer service. Now might be a good time to start focusing on what you might be able to do at the end of this school year.

Best wishes!

[christopherj]

Hi,
So school has been going alright so far, though very busy as usual, I'm trying my best to stay focused and I just hope that this semester will go very smoothly. A part of me just can't wait to graduate on time and really start my life and start my career. On different note, I've been getting the feeling that friend Allie really isn't interested in me like I've been in her. She's never talked to me at school before when she sees me around and doesn't talked to me online or respond to any of my e-mails. I've been thinking that I will probably just let it go and do my best to try and stay focused with school and just let things work itself out. Of course, i always wish I could just walk up to one of my friends and ask them out and have it be okay, but I know that that would not be right. I do have allot of friends though with dark hair, some of which I am interested in, I just wish I knew who would be the one that could be interested in me. Anyways, thank you for all your continued help. I hope that each day will be a great day!!

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
You are working hard to finish with school. You have this goal and know what you need to do to graduate on schedule. As for Allie, I really did feel all along that she has someone who she is either interested in or involved with. I think you will be comfortable just keeping her as a friend.

I still believe that when you meet that special someone, it will be obvious to you that she does like you. It might not be someone from school. There is a chance that it might be someone who you already know of, but do not know personally. I am thinking when you go home to your mother's house, do you attend a church social group? I have a feeling that this coming summer will be especially good for you!

Take care!

[christopherj]

I just learned from my mom today that she was fired from her job yesterday and had her house robbed for the second time, last time she had gotten her laptop stolen, which was her first ever laptop that my sister bought for her. Then this time, she gotten another laptop and the thief took that along with all her jewelry, thousands of dollars worth, money she had saved up for a savings account, plus quarters that had just been sitting around that we usually use for laundry. I was so angry that I couldn't do anything to help since I'm out in fullerton for school. I just can't believe the nerve of some people, what would drive them to do something like to anyone, especially my mom. If i could, I would be done with school right now, grab my degree and just head back home to be with her since she's all by herself with my sister in arizona working. Could you please tell me if things will be improving for my family, for my mom especially, (6/21/46)? I would really appreciate it. I know it's normal for parents to tell their kids not to worry about them, but it's hard though with my mom who has been so amazing with how hard she has had to work to support my sister and I and being by herself, she is like a superhero to me. I just feel helpless at times, not having a job, but I know what she really wants is for me to do well in school and be able to be truly independent and have a great career and a real responsible mature person, that would be the best thing in the world for her and I would never want to let her down when she's done so much for me, above and beyond. I would appreciate any insight you might into this, thank you.