Relationship question

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
It seems like this opportunity is right under your nose. She obviously likes you and enjoys spending time with you. Some girls are old fashioned enough to believe that the guy should be the one who makes the first move. I have a feeling that she would be very pleased if you would invite her to have dinner with you at a nice restaurant. If that goes well, and I have every reason to believe that it will, then make another date before the evening is over. Just relax and enjoy spending time together. By letting her know that you enjoy spending time with her, this is the beginning.

Now is the time to call her and make that dinner date!

I hope this will be a wonderfully Happy New Year for you!

[christopherj]

So,apparently I'm not that great at reading signals because I thought she was sending me all the right signals that she was interested in going out with me so after we hung out again today, I asked her out on a date, a real date and she said that we were just friends and then came the whole awkward moment of not knowing what to say after that so I just said bye and that I would talk to her later. I guess i thought with whole leading up to the new year and just with this winter break alone I was really thinking that things were going really well and I thought this could be the start of something great, what I''ve been waiting for for such a long time, to finally find someone who was interested in me like i was in her, but I guess it was still only me that was attracted to her. I did feel very unsure if i should have gone for it or not, though if i hadn't i think i would've been stuck in the whole "what if" moment and wondered if she really liked me or in someway stringing me along when i was getting clear signals that she liked me and she was still just thinking of me as a friend. It makes me wonder though if this is how she treats all of her friends and it wasn't that she was just doing anything special because it was me though i guess i did feel that way. I just hope though that i will still be able to have her as a friend and not end up losing her like i have with other girls i've liked. I sort of feel now that I'm still at square one in terms of meeting someone and starting a relationship, how will i know when i've met that person who will be truly interested in me? I remember you saying that it will be obvious and that i won't have to question whether she likes me or not and she will have dark hair, i guess i still don't understand how to read signals when someone likes me then. Anyways, i'm glad it is the new year and I really hope that this will be one of the best years i've ever had!!

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
I am truly sorry that things did not work out with La'Ryn. From what you described, she really enjoyed your company. I sense that she may developed a case of cold feet when you asked her for a real date. She had been the one initiating the get togethers that you shared. I think you can still be friends. You will see her at school and will interface with her. If the opportunity presents itself you can tell her that you still want to be friends. You were wise to realize that you needed to ask her for a date and not let this opportunity pass you by.

I would suggest letting her make the next move if she wants to hang out or study together. I truly do believe that she is interested in you, but may have reservations about getting into a relationship with anyone right now. There are some women who will string a guy along in a flirtatious manner, acting like they are interested and when he starts to respond and develop an interest, the game is over. For the record, men do this to women too!

Your real relationship may be with someone who you may know of, but not know well. It might be someone that you have not been hanging out with as a friend. When you recognize the obvious attraction, then might be the time to ask her for a date. You will be back at school next week and catching up with your friends. You might want to focus on someone new, rather than anyone you had hoped to get to know in the past.

You have a very good outlook for the new year! It will be a good year and you will be successful because you are determined to make it happen! Please don't let anything that happened over winter break discourage you. The best is yet to come!

Take Care!

[christopherj]

Thank you so much Kathy for all your help. I've been feeling that this new year could be one of the best ever, at least have high hopes for this year, with how up and down last year was. I was just wondering if you might have any insight into this new year for me. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,

Because the future is not set in stone, it really isn't possible to know what might happen during this calendar year. In your future I do see you graduating, although I am not certain when this is supposed to take place. I also see you working, perhaps as early as this coming summer.

For this semester you would do well to focus on your school work, performances, etc. By giving this your full attention you will feel confident in your accomplishments. In the area of romance, because there have been so many different women that you have been interested in, I really can't see when you will meet this special someone (or perhaps you already know of her and just do not recognize it). It will happen, and if you are confortable with your school work and your career building this will give you the self-confidence that you need and deserve.

Please let us know how things are going and if you have any specific questions--

[christopherj]

I was wondering if you might know anything with regards to dreams because I had a dream last night with a girl that I barely know from school but i've never really thought about her before, her name is Cayce. I don't know if this could be a sign for something or just a random dream. I know I've had moments where I've had other people like a girl Allie that I know also just out of the blue show up in one of my dreams. Also, both Allie and Cayce seemed to be close to being my girlfriend in my dream. Anyways, I would appreciate any input you might have into this. thank you.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
I found the studying of dreams to be one of the most fascinating areas of the Life Mastery Program. There are different types of dreams. Some can represent something that is unfinished in our lives. Other dreams can be symbolic. If you feel that a dream is sending you a message, you might want to start a journal. Just a few words or notes will help. There are times when I have had a dream about someone who I have not seen in years, but it is not always apparent why I am having the dream. Sometimes months later something might happen that reminds me of the dream.

These ladies who are appearing in your dreams might be having more of an impact on your daily life than you realize, though you do not know either of them very well. You might want to just think about this for awhile, keep smiling and have a conversation with them when the opportunity presents itself. It would not be a good idea to tell someone that you had a dream about them if you do not know that person well.

Take care!

[christopherj]

Hi,
So i am looking forward to starting school next week on monday, I've been telling myself, hoping and praying this semester will be one of the best ever along with this year, hoping this year will be bring great changes and improvements. I've also been wondering, with this free time I've had during the break, why i always find myself being interested in so many different people, like my friend Allie, Krista, Cayce, then i just started chatting with a girl I know at school named Rebecca though I barely know her. Of course, in my mind I always wonder if anyone is really attracted to me like I am to them. If the situation with Lauren had taught me anything, it's that I still don't know what it means or what it feels like when a girl is attracted or interested in me like I am to them. That is why whenever I'm talking to people, chatting with them online, I'm always very apprehensive when it comes to talking to them and not really trying to say anything that might be taken the wrong way or taken as being too forward or that might show that i have feelings for that person because I wouldn't want to weird the person out or push them away. But, then at the same time, playing it safe and not doing anything hasn't really worked out at all since I've never been able to find that person who feels the same way i do about them. Anyways, I have high hopes for this semester and this year for myself, my family and my friends, though the futures are not set in stone but I still hope and pray that everything will work out for the best.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
You really do have the right idea about communicating with girls who you do not know well. You also have a very good intuition. I think you will sense when it is the right time to ask a special lady for a date. At this point there is no need to rush into anything, although you are emotionally ready for a relationship.

If you focus on your school work and graduation, start thinking about the job market, etc. This is a very important time in your life. You are starting the new year out with a super attitude! It will all come together in time!

Take care!

[christopherj]

Thank you. One thing though that I wonder sometimes is if I'm ever saying or doing the wrong things towards my friends, like my friend Allie (9/11/89) who starting last semester I had finally started talking to online but lately hasn't been talking to me at all and I start to wonder if maybe I had said some wrong things, maybe sent her the wrong e-mail or posted something on her facebook page that I shouldn't have. Then there are other people who I've tried to talk to on facebook for the longest time like my friend Kristen (4/11/89) but I've never been able to talk to them but when I see them at school they will say hi to me, but whenever i leave a comment on there page they will never respond. The thing is, I really want to be the best person I can be towards and especially my friends and my family since they are the most important people in my life and I just wonder sometimes what my friends really think of me if I'm always putting out the right kind of message towards them or is it by them not responding to anything i post online some sort of sign. Whatever insight you might have into this would be very much appreciated. Thank you.