Relationship question

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
If you have not already located your keys, you might want to check with the campus "lost and found". The thing about keys, unless someone knows what they are for they most likely are not stolen. They are likely to surface.

I do believe that Kristen will be fine when you return from winter break. This is a stressful time with finals and holiday preparations. The next time you see her it would be appropriate to ask her how she is doing and express your concern as a friend.

The best way to find out if you would like to spend time with someone who you enjoy talking with is to go to coffee or lunch, as you are thinking about. If the lady likes you but for some reason cannot go the first time you ask, don't let this discourage you. If she really can't do it and would like to spend time with you, she will most likely give you some indication.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends. It is time for rest and relaxation. You are already thinking about and planning for the new year. This year is not over yet though, and there is still that opportunity to renew an old acquaintance or make a new one. There are several different paths available to you, and it is up to you to decide which one to take.

I have a strong feeling that you will start a job this summer that will open new doors for you. This job might be temporary but will help put you on the road to bigger and better things. I still sense that the name "Canterbury" is an important link.

Have a wonderful holiday season and please keep in touch!

[christopherj]

Hi,
So, I'm finally on winter break and done with finals which feels good, I just hope I've passed all my classes and will be able to next semester off right. Now, I just need to figure what I will do with this winter break time that I have, which does feel a little weird when I've got so much free time that I haven't had for a long time. I am looking forward to my sister being here in a few days so I am looking forward to that, and I hope that we will be able to have a great Christmas, with all the struggles we've had money. I'm also hoping that this upcoming new year will be one of the best years, great new changes, improvements. So, thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, thank you for the help.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
Now is the time to just relax with your family and friends. I think you already know that you have done well with your finals. You are already thinking and planning for next semester. Even though money has been tight this year, you will enjoy spending the holidays with your mother and sister. Sometimes the most inexpensive gift can bring someone the greatest joy. Also giving the gift of yourself by spending time with a family member or friend, going someplace with them that they enjoy and might not do by themselves. Your 2-week winter break will go very fast!

If you have the time you might want to start working on your resume. Your first major job will be an important part of your future. What will be your first step after graduation? I sense that you will be working as soon as next summer. It might take some time to have your resume perfected, but now would be a good time to start making reference notes.

You could also start an early "spring cleaning" in your room at home (your mother's house). You could organize things and start to make a decision as to what you want to keep and what you could possibly discard. This is a really good time of year to do this as there are many charity organizations that can accept second-hand items that are still in good condition. These items are given to those in need and the demand is high during the holiday season. You are a very caring person and I know it would make you feel good inside to be able to help someone.

In any event, enjoy every minute of your time off! Have a wonderful Christmas with your family! Remember that new opportunities come along when we least likely expect it! Please keep in touch!

[christopherj]

Hi,
So, I've been realizing lately how I've always tried to the best of my ability to help anybody when I can whether it be people on the sidewalk that I happen to see or my friends, I've always tried to do what I could to help them. I just wonder if this is sign of how I'm meant to be in the future as someone who really helps people whether it be in my music/singing or in other ways. I've just been noticing more and more, my willingness where I need to help people when I can, I can't not just let things go by if I know that I have the means to help them in their problems. I just wonder if this could be some sort of sign for my future or anything like that.
- I've also just been thinking about my friend Shannon (2/8/87) and I was just wonder because it has been years since I've talked to her or seen her and I was just wondering if there might be any chance that we might re-connect or maybe recover from all the mess we both went through. Our friendship sure did not end well and I just wonder if there ever might be a chance for us to be friends again. I know that at the beginning of our friendship I was really starting to like her allot and had always wondering if there could be something between us, with helping her through her problems and feeling a connection with her but then allot of events happened that seemed to tear our friendship apart and we were never able to recover from it. I'm just wonder if we were really meant to be friends, possibly be more then friends or if I should just move on from her and focus on other people.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
A strange thing happened--I read your last post yesterday evening and I needed a little time to focus on it, so I waited to answer today. When I went back to the post I found it replaced with a different message. As I focused on your original question I sensed both possibility and opportunity with the lady that you previously mentioned. It is important that you act quickly because there is a possiblity that there is another person who is also interested in her. If you should decide to pursue this, it might be best to not mention that you have strong feelings for her. Just start by asking her out, then let future developments fall into place.

As for Shannon, I have a feeling that she is someone from your past. Someone that you have known for a long time and that she is in the area where you are now. You start to think of her when you go home to your mother's house. The holidays are an excellent opportunity to reconnect. Although I do sense that she has another interest now, there is no harm in sending her a Christmas card. There is still time if you can get it in the mail today! Whatever should happen with this friendship is not certain, as the future is not set in stone. At least this friendship could be repaired.

Because you are such a caring person and always are concerned about others, this will carry over into your career. It is a part of who you are. Life is what we make it, and to know that you have done something to help someone makes your day brighter!

[christopherj]

Thank you. With regards to Shannon, I would love to re-connect with her, send her a card, I just don't have her address or her phone number anymore. I just wonder if she still thinks about me like I think about her and would like to be friends again. But, then I would go to her myspace and see that she's still blocked me off her page so then it makes me wonder if she's ever put all that happen between us behind and either wants to start over or has just chosen to forget about me and move on. I just wonder if were to ever re-connect, it would have to be her to make the first move since I have no where of communication with her. I've just always wonder with the sort of 'roller coaster" both of us went through of re-connecting and not talking and then re-connecting again, I mean, I really did like her allot and at the time I thought she might have too but then, with stuff concerning her ex-boyfriend and all this crazy stuff, it just seemed to push us both away from each other and somehow ended up putting me in a spot which made me feel like the bad guy and I was never able to talk to her and understand what happened and why things suddenly got so bad. I just wonder though if she really does want to talk to me or see me again after so long cause I sure would like to see and talk to her.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
Unless you know someone who you might be able to send Shannon a card in care of (like are her parents still in the area?), you most likely will need to wait for her to make the first move. It would not be a good idea to ask anyone for her address or phone number. You would just need to send the card and hope that it would be forwarded on to her. I sense that she is otherwise occupied right now and most likely is not giving much thought to past friendships. I know you would like to reconnect and make everything good again, but you can't let this cloud your thinking during the holiday season.

I encourge you to look to the future and pursue new friendships. If you should reconnect with Shannon it might be only for a brief time, but would give you closure to a friendship that ended abruptly. For now, just enjoy the holidays and focus on the new year and what you need to accomplish next year!

Take care!

[christopherj]

Hi,
So, I've been noticing lately that my friend La'ryn and I have been hanging out pretty consistently during this winter break, more so these past few days and today she invited me over to her house and cooked me dinner and we sat and watched a movie. Then we are planning on hanging out tomorrow to study for a while and grab starbucks. I was just wondering with what's been going on lately if she might really have feelings for me and if so, should go ahead and try and ask her out to dinner or is she not interested in me. I have been starting to develop feelings for her and with how frequently we've been hanging out, which most of the time has been her asking to hang out, I've just been wondering what she might be thinking and if this could really be it, if she might be really interested in me. I know she's mentioned another guy who might be interested in her but she isn't really that into him, but she's never mentioned having feelings for me either cause she's shy or not sure how I feel about her. Maybe the dinner was her way of saying that she is interested in me and is waiting for me to make the next move. I am hoping that she might have strong feelings for me like I have for her and would like to really start going out. Anyways, I would very much appreciate your advice and insight into this. Thank you.
-Christopher

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
I am really excited for you! I have a very good feeling about this! I know you had an interest in La'Ryn in the past, but perhaps the timing wasn't just right then. I sense that it is now. When a lady cooks dinner for a man this is her way of asking him for a date. Perhaps when she mentioned that someone is interested in her and that she really doesn't feel the same, she was hoping that you would open up as to if you were seeing someone.

You have come to know one another as friends and obviously enjoy each other's company. So now is the time to ask her to dinner. It might not be too late for New Year's, but some people make plans for this holiday a long time in advance. It is worth a try anyway! If she can't make it for New Year's, then very soon after would be a good plan.

It might not be a good idea to discuss any strong feeling for one another at this point in time. It is important to let the relationship develop before this type of discussion should take place. In any event, I do have a stong sense that things will go well if you act now and make this date!

Please keep in touch and I hope this will be a very Happy New Year!

[christopherj]

So, I've never been in this spot before. I like La'ryn allot, the more we hang out, the more i like her. We went out for thai food and we talked and she asked me what type of girl i was interested in and I'm guessing that was a loaded question and that she was seeking a specific answer but i don't know if answered it right, just saying that I like someone outgoing, funny, the basic things a guy looks for. I've just been in the position where i've had things blow up in my face because i've been too forward with girls that I'm not sure what to do now since I've been in this position before where someone has been attracted to me. I've always been the one showing the attraction without knowing how the other person would be feeling, if she was interested in me or not. But, now there seems to be all these signals going off with her fixing me food, asking me questions and talking about relationships, calling me to hang out on multiple occasions on back to back days, asking if I wanted to stay over while we are watching movies at her dad's place cause she's tired. But then, at the same time, if she is waiting for me to do something, make that first move, i don't know what that first move should be. I was going to talk to her on new year's day to see if she wanted to hang out. I just get the feeling that she wants me to come right out and say that i like her. I would very much appreciate your input.