Relationship question

[christopherj]

Hi,
So, I wanted to ask you something that I've always been wondering but have never asked, it's about my dad. I was just wondering if you might know how he's been doing and if my mom, my sister and I might ever see him again or hear from him. Most of time I've tried to not really think about him even though that may sound bad since he is my dad and I love him so much but I guess then there is that part of me that wonders if he has been thinking about me as much. I've had moments like on my birthday, or my mom's birthday, or my sister graduation law school, or when i would send him an e-mail to say hi that I would hope to hear from him but then I wouldn't and I would just wonder if he was doing okay since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I guess that it is normal for me to want my dad in my life since I am a boy and I have run into moments where i would see shows or just see my friends with there fathers and just wish that my dad was around though I know that the relationship with my dad had plenty of rough spots but I just wonder if there might ever be a point where we might have some of those rough spots ironed out and just have him back in our lives and have us all get along. I would say also though that I've just been so amazed with how much work my mom has had to do with supporting my sister and I all these years with my dad being away, I just can't put it into words how incredibly blessed I am to have her in my life, I just don't know who I'd be or where I would be without her. I think that is why I've been asking all those questions about what my future might hold for me because I want to get to the point where I've graduated from school, met someone great and started a relationship, landed a career, and just become completely independent and responsible and not have to rely so much on her anymore because I want her to be able focus more on herself since I know she's just had to so much for me and put her own needs to the side at times for me. But I want to be able to help her out for a change, help my sister out, and be able to support myself and become more of the adult which I know my mom wants and I'm sure my dad would want as well and I just want to make them proud. So, anyways, I just hope that I can stay on track and have everything work out. Thank you for taking time to read this.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
I sense that your father might have someone in his life right now whose influence is keeping him from contacting the family he left behind. You mentioned that you sent him an e-mail, but the problem with e-mail is that we aren't always certain that it is received or read. If you have another way to contact him, I really do think that he would appreciate hearing from you. You don't need to say much, other than that you are thinking of him and would like to know how he is doing. He might not respond immediately, but it will tug at his heart-strings. Your concern for him is genuine.

You will soon be finishing with school. I sense that your mother is very proud of you! You are a very sensitive young man and you are achieving your goals. There will come a time when you will be able to return her kindness. You will be in a position to do something nice for her, like send her on a vacation, etc. She has provided for you and you sister because she loves you. As a result your sister has achieved her goals and is doing well, as will you.

Your family knows that you love and appreciate them. That is the greatest gift of all!

Take care and please keep in touch!

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
So, I'm down to my last three weeks of this semester and I'm just praying that they go well since I've been feeling very bogged down with work and performances, I'm just hoping that everything will work out. But, on another note, I was wondering if you might be able to tell me if my friend Kristen (4/11/89) might be someone for me because I can tell you that for the longest time, she has been the one I've always been the most interested in her since I started at college in fall 2007 but we've never really talked much. I just wonder if maybe she might be that mystery person, though I know things aren't set in stone. Anyways, I wanted to thank you for reading this message.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
While this is a stressful time with semester ending, performances and all--I do believe that you will successfully handle it all! This will give you a strong sense of accomplishment. As for Kristen, I honestly can't tell if she is the special one because there have been so many others that you have been thinking and wondering about. What I do think is important, if you are interested in getting to know her then follow the plan of inviting her to a quiet coffee shop where you can have an uninterrupted conversation. Please don't e-mail her as an initial contact. If you can manage to do this before your semester holiday recess this could prove to be worthwhile.

When I focus on you, I see this as the beginning of a friendship. I can envision the scenario, but I do not know who the person might be, other than that she has dark hair.

Please keep in touch and let us know how this works out!

[christopherj]

Thank you, I hope this whole thing works out too. Hopefully I will find time to talk to Kristen and ask her to hang out sometime, if she happens to really be the one. I just hope that I don't end up missing my chance with the semester almost over. I really hope this will finally be the time where I finally meet someone after all this years.

[christopherj]

Hi,
I just realized how many posts I've been making on this site, I'm starting to feel like I post too much. For some reason with the constant thinking of school, life, relationships, I always end up coming back to this site and posting. I started wondering if I've been the person that's been posting the most questions. But, anyways, I've been feeling lately that I wish I could just be honest and just let the person I'm interested in how I feel straight out but I know that that would only end up weirding them out like I've done with other people in the past where I've been too forward, so I've tried to take things slow with people but still try to be assertive. I'm just hoping that something will happen where I will have time to talk to Kristen or whoever that dark-haired person might be. I know with the semester almost over, everyone is really busy so there isn't really allot of free time to go around. But, it sure would really nice though if something were to happen to really start off this winter break on a amazing note and really make the new year the best year ever.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
Your chance to talk to Kristen can happen! As I focus on you I see that you must be the one to make it happen! If we wait for a perfect opportunity, that opportunity might not come easily. You are right about everyone being very busy at this time of the year, but is there a possiblity that you can just ask Kristen if she has a few minutes to talk with you?

You might not know until you spend some time with her if she is that special someone. I believe that there are other prospects in your future, it all depends on which path you choose to take. I also believe that it would not be a good idea to tell any woman who you are just getting to know that you have feelings for her. If you want to talk with her and ask her out on a date, she will know that you are interested in her. Being interested in someone is the first step. As you begin to spend time together that is when the stronger feelings develop. Unless you have spent some quality time together, any strong feelings that you are having would be more like infatuation.

You are welcome to post as often as you like at this site! You may also start another topic at any time-- for example if the questions pertain to:
- school
- life
- family
- relationships
you may post it under that subject. We will always be able to find it. In any event please keep in touch and let us know how all of this is working out for you.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
So I'm getting close to the end of this semester and I am looking forward to winter break. I just hope I will be able to get through finals week. Then on a different note, with regards to relationships, I don't know why I keep having that thought of wondering if things will ever change for me. I think sometimes what people really think about me, if there are girls out there who are really interested in me, which I know you have said that there are, I just wish I was able to know what people thought about me. I know that I have tried, which may have not been in the best way, to ask girls out, which has not been in person, maybe that is why they have always turned me down. Also, lately, there hasn't been allot of time to talk to people with school being so busy or maybe it's the fact that I've just been trying to focus all my attention on school that I haven't really given myself anytime to go out really make an effort to ask someone out. Or, it could be that I'm worried of screwing things up like I've done in the past with people and have ended up losing them as friends. In any case, I don't know why this whole relationship thing has been such a big deal for me, it could be because of the fact that I've never had a girlfriend or gone on a date my whole life and have always wonder when it might finally happen for me, when i might finally meet someone, just like some of my friends or classmates. It is hard sometimes being around school, around tons of people and wishing that you could be one of those people. But, then I shouldn't be comparing myself to other people, sometimes I just don't like to think about it so I've been trying to just focus on school which of course stresses me out so that doesn't really help either. Anyways, I just hope that things will improve in this new year and these next school semester. Sorry if it seemed like I was ranting, I just thought I needed to get that out there. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
You will get through finals week and everything will be fine! You musn't worry about others might think of you, you are a special person! You are kind and caring and your friends know you are sincere.

You have difficulty asking a girl for a date because you are shy. You do need to ask a girl out in person, or by telephone. No notes or e-mails! If she likes you she will make it easy for you to communicate. You really need to take that step now, before you go home for winter break. Everyone is very busy right now but as soon as the finals are over people will start to relax. It should take no more than about 3 minutes to ask someone to have coffee with you!

Just keep the conversation casual and if you feel a connection, then ask her if she would like to have dinner with you. That is a good way to talk and get to know one another. It is all about taking that first step!

I hope that you will do it this week! I hope you have a wonderful holiday season! I hope to hear back from you in a few days saying that you have taken this step!

[christopherj]

Hi,
So I thought that I would let you that finals week has been going well and i have my last final tomorrow then I will be heading home for the break to see my family and friends and I cannot wait. I have not seem Kristen around school so I have not had time to talk to her. I saw a post that she had to go to the er last night so i really hope she is feeling well. I hope that something will happen before this week is over and i will be able to meet someone and get something started whether it be going to get coffee or lunch or something cause that sure would be a great end to the week and a nice to start to winter break. I am looking forward to winter break and to the new semester, I really hope this new year will be one of the best ones ever!
-Oh, I was also wondering if I will ever be able to find my keys, I am hoping that they were not stolen.