Relationship question

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
So, things never did work out with Kat, but like you have said I'm looking forward to the holiday season and hoping that something might finally happen during this school year and i will find someone. Besides that, I've been kind of stressed this semester but have been working to keep the faith and stay positive that everything will work out. I am really looking forward to next semester though in terms of my schedule being on of the best looking ones i've had in terms of free time and types of classes, so I can't wait. Overall, I'm just looking for things to really take off and really improve in all aspects of my life and I've been looking towards my birthday which will be up on November 18th and I will be 24, it's made me think about what i've really accomplished and how much I've grown as a person and it's made me wonder at times when i officially turn 24, will be able to look back and say that i've grown as a person and have accomplished some goals that i set for myself. I also keep wondering if things will work out for this school year, if i will graduate on time and really make it, I'm trying to just stay positive and have faith that it will, though it can honestly be really hard to stay in that mode. I want to thank you for your help and support.
-Christopher

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,
It is really good to hear from you again! First of all--I want to wish you an early very "Happy Birthday" -- it really shows that you are aware within yourself of how much you have grown with your studies and your plans for the future. As far as the future relationship, if you just take it one day at a time and slowly let a friendship develop. You will be able to decide later if you want it to be more than a friendship.

As far as your schooling, it seems that you will be much more relaxed in the second semester. This will give you time to start planning for your future after graduation. I do believe that you will graduate "on time". You are aware of this deadline and you know what you need to do to make this happen.

I do sense a change in residence in your future following graduation. Not really far from where you are now, but it appears that you will be in a different environment. Perhaps also during the holidays. I see the possibility of a temporary or part-time job during the holidays or school breaks. This won't be your life-long career choice, but might be a connection to your chosen profession. The name "Canterbury" comes to mind.

You appear to be handling your challenges well--you will continue to grow and when you are nearing 30 you will be looking back and realizing that all of your diligence and hard work was well worth the effort.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing--

Take Care!

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I wanted to let you that I sent Krista another e-mail a few days ago which i guess indirectly said that I liked her, saying that she was such a great person and that there were plenty of great guys out there who liked her, that she deserved to be with someone who would respect her and treat her the way she deserved to be treated. Anyways, I just wonder if it was really right for me to send that e-mail, if it was worded in the right way. I've yet to hear from her and I don't know if she has even read it yet, I just hope that this would not be something that would end up messing up our friendship if she thinks I'm being very forward and decide to turn it down. I know a part of me wanted to tell her how I really feel but then I would not want to weird her out and be too forward and end up pushing her away like I've done with people I used to be friends with and I wonder if that is because I've been single for so long. Well, I would appreciate your insight into this, thank you for taking the time to read this.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,

I know you have sent Krista e-mails before and she did not respond. This might not be the best way to communicate with her. Because you are sensitive and shy, you feel more comfortable doing this. I am not sure that Krista is really understanding this message. You said that you "indirectly" told her how you feel. When I focus in on Krista I see her being in a hurry, multi-tasking, etc. She is not taking the time to thoroughly read and understand this message.

The direct approach might be best. Can you possibly arrange to meet with her and talk with her alone? I sense that she has a lot going on right now. I know you have been attracted to her for some time, but in the long term right now I can only see about a 40% chance of this working out.

I feel that there is another possibility of someone who you might have not met yet, or someone that you do not know well who will come into your life in the very near future. You won't have to guess if she likes you, because you will know that she does. You won't have to work so hard to win her over!

Anyway your birthday is coming up next week--Happy Birthday!

Take care!

[christopherj]

So i had my birthday which I guess didn't really go how I had expected it would, but it was still good. What was surprising also was the day before my birthday, which had to have been an amazing day, a day I felt I hadn't had in a long time. I aced a quiz in one of my classes, got a good grade on a huge assignment in another one of my classes, and did well in my choir concert later that night. Overall, after my birthday, even though I know I've gotten older, life still feels the same. I guess I was expecting some sort of change in myself where maybe I might feel older or feel like I've grown, got more mature, learned something new but I guess I still feel the same like I was before my birthday. I just hope that with me having had my birthday and become older, that this will be the start great changes and improvements ahead. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
-Christopher

[Kathy N]

Christopher,

Major changes don't necessarily have to happen on the exact date of your birthday--You might not feel any different but you are older, you have grown, you are more mature. You are learning something new every day! You are doing well in school, this is a very important goal for you.

If you continue to relax and take things in stride there will be many new adventures and opportunities for you just around the corner. This may be from an unexpected source.

Take care and let us know how you are doing! Happy Thanksgiving!

[christopherj]

Thank you, Happy Thanksgiving to you to. One thing though that I just thought of, I wanted to know if I might get to a point in my life where I won't be so prone to losing or misplacing my things. Lately, I haven't been able to find my watch, sunglasses, my ipod, sandals my mom had bought me. Over the years I know that I've lost many things and i have always asked myself why I am always forgetting to pick up things before i leave a room when it will be right in front of my face and I will just fail to notice it and leave it behind. I know that maybe if I hadn't forgotten to pick up my backpack then I would have been able to study for my music history final and could have passed it and gone on to the next class instead of re-taking it this semester. I just hope that I will get to a point where I will be that true responsible person who can always know where everything is and not worry about losing or misplacing things all the time.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,

You can do this! By telling yourself that it is important that you know where your significant belongings are and arranging them so everything has a place to be stored. It might be difficult when you are traveling from home to your apartment where you stay at school. Perhaps a packing list might be helpful when you plan to travel. Even a list for daily items that you will need for school, etc.

Your most recently misplaced items are likely to surface. They are most likely at your mother's house or somewhere in your apartment. I really do think that this has concerned you enough that you will develop a plan!

Try not to worry and take care!

[christopherj]

Happy Thanksgiving to you to! I just wanted to mention to you that I've been talking to my friend Allie (9/11/89) who I had always been interested in but for some reason all the times when I had wanted to talk to her, it would never work out but for some reason this semester things have changed and she's been more responsive so, I don't know if that is a sign but I will take it. It makes me wonder if maybe you were talking about her when you said there would be someone that I would meet towards the holidays who I don't really know. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know. Thanks.

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,

I honestly don't know for certain if Allie is your mystery girl, but I sense that things will start to materialize with someone who you may know, but not necessarily know well. If Allie is being responsive to talking with you, then a good start might be to invite her to coffee in a place where you can talk quietly.

Please don't ask her out via e-mail! I have bad vibes about that approach. The best approach is the direct approach! People are busy this time of year. Perhaps a conversation will come up that will give you insight as to something that the two of you can do together. Perhaps going to a place where you both share a common interest.

Anyway Happy Thanksgiving! Please keep us posted as to future developments!