Relationship question

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
Happy New Year!! The reason for this post was to ask if you had any insight into this new year 2012. I know that lately, my mind has been doing a lot of wandering, more so I think, just because I've been wanting so much to be able to say that this made up for some of the downs that I went through last year. This year, I've dealt with finding out that i'm still officially graduated from college because of a class that I took didn't ended up qualifing, so i've still got to take another class in the future. Also, I've just been thinking about what will happen to me, where I will end up, who will I become. I've been feeling worried and stressed, like I have to hurry and decide my life before everyone passes me by. I know that I always post on fb for everyone to stay strong, keep the faith and hope alive, keep moving forward, shift into turbo, but, I guess forget to tell myself that. I think I just feel that I should farther along then I am, but I don't know how to get there. I am trying, making strides in my church job, searching for work, I have an audition to work at disneyland on tuesday. My mom says that I shouldn't stress out, she knows that i've been trying, but she also reminds me that everything is about timing, and it all happens when it should be and try not to force things. I just have to remind me to take it easy and enjoy life, i'm only 26, i shouldn't be getting gray hairs lol! Anyways, thank you for you help, I appreciate it.

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,
Happy New Year to you too! We always look forward to the new year with anticipation and hopes for a better year. This is very good but we then realize that we are basically just the same people we were last year. Anything we didn't finish up or just let go last year we need to take care of in the new year. Could you possibly take the class that you need online? This might help you and wouldn't put such a burden on your schedule.

You have done very well to get the job with the church. You are also actively seeking additional employment. Since you are going to audition for a position at Disneyland, this must be performing position? That could be a great way to showcase your talent!

Your mom is right-- the time has to be right for certain things to happen. She does know how hard you have been trying. I do sense that you will get another job that will expose you to talent agents. It may take you some time to achieve all that you want do, but you will see evidence of your progress and you will feel more confident. I also see you finding a way to get the credit for the class that you need.

Please keep in touch-- and let us know how it goes with the Disneyland audition.

Take care!

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I went to the disneyland audition, they were auditioning for a barbershop quartet, I audition for the bass part. They gave of sheet music to look at, taught us the part, we practiced it, then everyone went in to a room, and each went up individually to sing in front of the judging panel. I didn't do as well as I wanted to, ended forgetting the words cause i decided to leave my sheet music behind so that I could free myself up to add more expression and movement to my performance, since this is for disneyland and they would want to see expressiveness. Anyways, I'm glad I went out and tried out just to gain experience, I was pretty disappointed in myself, knowing I could have done a lot better, but at the end of the day, I can say that maybe this wasn't meant for me, there are, will be more opportunities, i just have to stay strong and keep pushing on. I do wonder though, even though it's hard for everyone to find work, especially for someone wanting to be in music, if i've been assertive enough in finding work. One of my friends told me that he thought I needed to be more pro-active, I feel that I have but i just haven't found anything yet. I know that timing is everything and I'd like to think that sooner or later, my time will come, of course i'd love it if it were sooner lol! Sometimes, it's hard to have to wait when i feel sometimes that i get tired of waiting, then people sometimes say to make things happen instead of wait for them to happen. Though, i think that it's easy to say that, much harder to do that. Not gonna lie that I've compared myself to my friends sometimes, thinking about what they have or where they are at in life, wondering why I can't be there, but, i also know that everyone is different, not everyone has to move at the same pace. I've always just told myself to stay strong, keep the faith, stay positive and keep hope alive and trust the everything would work out. There is a time and a place for everything, maybe it's better not to force things, but let it all takes its course. Thank you for your continued help, I really appreciate it.

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,
Sorry the audition didn't go as well as you hoped, but have they made a decision already? This could still open other doors for you. It is difficult if next to impossible to just make things happen when it comes to searching for work. In today's ecomony very few places have it in their budget to create positions. You just have to do what you are doing, and that is to wait to apply or audition for possibilities as they become available. Just about everyone has gone through the experience of applying for a job and then realizing that it really isn't what they had hoped for. Then there is a slight relief that they didn't get that particular job, even though they need a job. There will be other opportunities, perhaps for which you are better suited. I still get the sense that you should keep looking for an established vocal group who is looking for a replacement back up singer. I honestly don't know when this might happen, only that you should keep actively watching for this!

Take care!

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I know that you have mentioned about life's not being set in stone, but I would very much appreciate if you had any insight about this year, being still early in this new year. I can tell that last year was very much of a roller coaster for me, had some ups, but also had some downs. I told myself that this year would my year, better then last year, that'd be able to say 2012 was a great year, when i get into 2013. I don't think I've ever had a great year overall, at least not one that I can ever remember. I want to be able to say that i've started meeting my goals of getting another job, good pay, maybe started a relationship, started figured what i want to do with my life. Also, I know i want to eventually get my own place, buy a car, being independent and self-sufficient, if I manage to accomplish any of this this year. Anyways, thanks again for all your help!!

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,
It is difficult to measure things in a particular timeline. There are several different paths that you could choose and it will ultimately be your decision what direction to take. I do see you obtaining a supplemental income job. I am getting a strong pull in the direction of behind the scenes in the music industry-- like choreography. This could eventually lead to performing. I still get the sense that you will meet a young lady through your church. You will eventually get your own apartment and a car. Not sure in which that order will be though-- Fortunately, there is good public transportation in the area where you live which can take you to the larger cities where opportunities in the music industry are likely to be. So if you can just achieve your goals one step at a time you will be doing well. Very rarely do we have everything come together at one time.

So just keep doing what you have been-- it is just taking time-- you will get there!

Take care!

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I just wanted to let you know that two days ago, i found out that my situation with school, getting my degree that i had told you about, had worked itself out, the school was able to find a class in my records that met the requirements, so i am now officially done with school. I will be getting my degree in the mail around late February or early march!! I would like to think that this means that my life is slowly working itself out, starting to turn around and heading in the right direction. I just hope and pray that this the start of more good things to come.

[Kathy N]

Christopher,
So glad that the school located that class credit. It is just unfortunate that someone didn't look harder before they had to worry you about it. This is a step toward getting things accomplished that you needed to. Sometimes it does take awhile to get things going on the right track. It is difficult though when you have worked so hard. I am still getting a pull in the direction that you might do well to look into behind the scenes opportunities in the music industry. By this I am seeing possibilities of adminstrative work for a recording company. This in turn could eventually expose you to the performing side of the industry. It might be worth it to watch for something like this.

Keep doing what you are doing-- and keep that positive attitude!

Best wishes,

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I wanted to let you know that my college degree arrived in the mail yesterday, so I was very happy about that. But, besides that, lately I've continually been dealing with the frustration of just not knowing really where my life is supposed to heading. I know this has been an on going thing with me, but I've really been feeling stuck, like I'm not getting anywhere. I feel that I've been trying to figure things out, trying to see how I can get something, figure out what I want to do, but I haven't been finding any answers. I also feel pressure from my mom who thinks I am not doing anything with my time, like I just waste a lot of time, which cause me to think like I have to hurry up and get something started, when I still don't really know what that something is. I've tried to get help, do some network, trying and get together with people, but it just hasn't been working. I can say that I love to sing, but I don't think it's enough in this working world. I would like to have my own group and perform, do shows, record albums, I would like to do a lot of stuff. Right now, I know I should probably have a plan, but I don't, or I don't know how to execute the plan that I have. Maybe this is how it feels to be in the real world. I do know that I want to become a self-sufficient, independent, mature man who can say he leads his own life, has a career, his own place, in a great relationship. I mean, I'm 26 and I feel like should've had things figured out years ago, but now I'm behind and need to catch up before everything or everyone passes me by. I don't want to hit my next birthday and still be in the same place i'm in right now. I need to get things moving in the right direction. I know that timing can be involved, in terms of when the right time is for things to occur, but my thing is, can right time be soon cause I don't want to wait anymore. Apologize for the rant, these past few weeks have been rough. Thank you for taking time to read this, I would appreciate any help you can provide, thank you.

[Kathy N]

Hey Christopher,
So glad that you finally have your degree. This should help to open new doors for you. It is only natural to be discouraged when things don't seem to be happening as they should. You have spent many years getting your education and you might want to look for the type of work that you could best benefit from your education. With your love of music, there might be a possiblity that you could teach music? You wouldn't have to give up your dream of performing, but if you can just secure a job that will let you get ahead financially that is a start. Secondly, if you truly enjoy what you are doing that will add to your fulfillment. It is easier to plan after you can see the direction that you will be taking. So the first step would be to land that job. Then work toward getting yourself a small apartment, or if it would work out possibly with a room mate. Everything is so expensive now. You might not want to pressure yourself about a relationship until you have achieved these first two goals. If you can just do something every day to work on these goals, step by step you will know that you are doing all that you can. Right now due to the economy, the music industry is having its share of problems. How many times do we look at a CD in a store and think about buying it but realizing that we shouldn't spend the money? People are also finding it more difficult to afford concert tickets. Unfortunately, this is the real world right now. Again, don't give up on your dream even though you might need to put it on the back burner for now. Hope this helps--

Take care,