Relationship-affecting-career issues

[pbutterstrings]

Hello,

I recently went on a date with a friend named Zach and I feel that he is a very good match for me. He expressed being attracted to me, but we're currently living in separate states. I want to give this a shot (what do you feel about the future of this relationship?) and feel that my decisions as regarding my education path will affect this. I am a music student and although I love it and feel I would feel deep comfort at pursuing a music career, I am also afraid that it will affect my job mobility, which affects where I can live and my success at romantic relationships. I guess what I mean is I'm trying to decide whether to pursue a second major in psychology (which gives me access to more jobs) even though it is considerably more work than my current path (music + a minor in psychology) or whether to just pursue my current path? My feeling is to only pursue my current path, but it could be simply because I'm afraid of the additional work that a second major entails. Also, I just want to know if I should start moving towards a deeper relationship with Zach. Hope my questions make sense!

[Kathy N]

You might want to evaluate each of these issues separately. There have been many successful long distance relationships. If Zack continues to stay in touch with you while he is in another state, you will know that he is definitely interested. As for your career, you are likely to be happier if you follow your chosen path. A career in music will involve a lot of hard work and likely to include some traveling. A minor in psychology will also provide you with other possibilities. You are weighing your options and planning ahead. These are very important qualities.

Best wishes!

[pbutterstrings]

Dear Kathy N,
Thank you for your kind response. I am worried about a career in music because I don't know how I will fare with this economy. Do you see me being able to get a job ?

Can you sense some of Zach's feelings towards me? There is also someone in school who I think might be interested in me as well - his name is Henry. Can you also sense some of what Henry is feeling?

[Kathy N]

I am feeling a strong pull in the direction that you might have a career teaching music. The courses that you are now taking in school are good choices. As for Zach, if he continues to keep in contact with you that will be the determining factor regarding his intentions. Henry obviously likes you, but he might be a bit shy. He might also have some things going on in his life right now that are a priority for him. You could possibly start a casual conversation with him just to see where it might lead.

Best wishes,

[pbutterstrings]

Hello Kathy N,
I am curious as to what kind of imagery/sense you're getting from Henry (for you to say he's "obviously" interested)! Zach hasn't been keeping in touch, but he is coming in a week and we might see each other again. I am very lonely, so I hope either one works out.

[Kathy N]

Henry likes you but he seems to be a bit preoccupied with other things that are going on in his life. I sense a family problem. He is somewhat shy and at this point he might not have given too much thought to how he might approach this. If Zach wants to keep in contact with you while he is away this could be a worthwhile friendship. If he only wants to see you when he comes to town, this limited contact might not be what you are looking for.

Best wishes,

[pbutterstrings]

Thanks Kathy N,
I was able to share a friendly lunch with Henry, but as you said, he seemed preoccupied that day. I found out that he has a girlfriend so that makes him off-limits for now.

[Kathy N]

You can be a friend to Henry though-- You are likely to meet someone new when you least likely expect it. Right now you have a lot going on and you are working at taking positive steps to get the most out of life. Your self confidence will grow as you continue to explore new avenues.

Best Wishes!