I am 43 yrs, have married since 2002, have 2 daughters. I am writing this here for some valuable advice from the people here, I am going through a worst and painful stage in my life .I feel it is better to divorce and leave my husband soon rather continuing further with such a cheat and a worst man. All these seven years of relationship I was hurted, cheated and pained by him. Even though in the sake of the purity of the marriage and the consideration of my kids I was continuing and adjusting on the trust on his words, the promise that he won't do the mistake again.
The problem is that he had an affair with other woman now, she is from another country, they never met so far, they know by net, they were friends, and he started to initiate and brought in relation, he was telling to her that he never married
When 2005 I came to know this by the s m s in mobile, his answer was like this:
just I send as a fun only she also take the same way only, how can I do cheat to you and I am the father of 2 daughters, do you think that I am a s person like that, but it pained me a lot and that time onwards I started alert about him. But I found that they were in regular chat, he was going to office is for chatting with her or telephone her. Again in 2006 I have seen the messages in yahoo and mails, I asked him why if you don’t have interest why all this things, he said just friends only nothing there. he used to make terrible problem , if I ask anything, unwanted words using and scolding shouting, and blaming me that I don’t have trust on him,
very big mess he create and he will prove that I only wrong and mistake.
Again in 2007, I saw that some new gmail id’s in computer and I asked him why separate new id’s, same response, shouting , scolding , abusing me badly and accused me as a third rate person, when I asked password, later when he started office, he told this is the pass word
I have opened the mail, I smelled the wrong thing that only I asked, but there were no mails. But when I checked trash folder, I shocked to death point, by seeing all reality. Love, proposal and planning, I CALLED HIM AND ASKED, WHY YOU CHEATED ME THIS MUCH, WHAT I DONE TO YOU FO RTHIS HURT AND CHREAT TO ME. I was lost in heart and terribly shocked. The same dialogues from him that I do not have trust on him , if no trust there is no meaning of life, I stunned his words, what base I have to trust on him!!!!!! on that time after seeing all these mails and planning , he is shouting screaming and scolding me and said he is moving for divorce because , I am bad woman , never had trust on him. I felt fed up, enough now, let it stop .
Later he started to cry, and was holding me and told, sorry for the mistake I have done to you, I will never do it again, without you I can’t live, please don’t leave me . I told him I will be forgive and stay with you upon one condition, you should tell her that you are married and have children. The answer also was shocking, he told , if I tell her like that she will think that I am cheat, and he found the solution for that , I am going to tell her that my marriage is fixed by mother as per her wish and going to marry very soon. I accepted that also, because I had a guilty feeling upon that girl that he is cheating her by my husband, at least it will be end here, without more hurt to her.
HE DECLARED TO ME, YOU SEE HERE IN AFTER I WON’T DO ANY MISTAKE , INEVER CONTACT HER ALSO, IT WAS JUST FUN NOTHING MORETHAN THAT, YOU ALSO DON’T TAKE IT AS SERIOUS, FORGET EVERYTHING IF I HURTED YOU I AM SORRY, I PROMISE UPON MY MOTHER I WON’T REPEAT IT IN MY LIFE, IF I DO AGAIN YOU ASKE ME !!!!!. I SAID IF I FIND AGAIN I WON’T ASK YOU ANYTHING JUST STEP OUT FROM THIS RELATION,
Now again the same situation or more , after a year gap, in April 2008 he started contact her by email and chat, he is so much careful and deleting all evidences, when I found his chats, he stopped chatting, when I found her calls and his calls to her , he stopped calls, now by emails, he is thinking I don’t know, now there is no way, if I tell that I have seen mails, he will stop that, but now I have the trust that he won’t stop it, more than that I don’t want to continue more after many time incident, why should I continue more but whenever the wrong thing going on I am feeling it in my heart and mind, like that I found it again. And he started to drag her again and telling the stories that he never loved me, and marriage was mistake happened, as given an idea that I am a bad, cruel, ugly, illiterate woman. She demanded him divorce from me, he told her for that I am an orphan, he is the only care taker for me ,so he can’t leave me on the sudden they are planning to meet and dating, and live some other country.
I died in my heart when I came to know that he doubted my integrity, the truth is that he is the only man in my life until now.
I am like handicap now, the restart in life at the age of 43 is difficult , but I must charged for that I , But I would like to get opinion from you all and help me to take a decision upon this base , whether to leave this relationship is correct decision or not, I want you all opinion and suggestions. Many times I tried to talk with him or this is not first time it is 4 or 5 times happened , now I think , no use of further patch up.
I was complete in my relationship, selfless, honest and faithfull,sincier , caring and loving., i take care of all matters, worked for him and got business.
So I seeking some advice on this point of time about my relationship, whether I have to leave or fight for save it. Also I would like to get some advice about the career which I can do for my lively hood for my kids.
