love and music

[Kathy N]

Brian,
If Aimee's relationship should end, she most likely would be hurt. She would need time to heal. She doesn't realize that she is unhappy. She won't realize this until after the breakup. In time she will start to realize that she is free. Do you have any mutual friends? You might need to rely on someone to let you know if a breakup should occur. Aimee might not be wanting to make this public knowledge immediately.

You could help her by being her friend. When you feel that the time is right you might tell her that you would like to take her out, when she feels like she would like to go out. That way she would not feel pressured into an immediate new relationship. She would know that you are interested. She might take this into consideration before she would start dating anyone else.

If the two of you should get together, you would definitely make the relationship a priority. This is something that I sense would be important to her. Because you already care so much for her, she would appreciate your kind and gentle nature. I sense that you would have about an 80% chance of having a successful relationship if you should get together when the timing is right.

However, you should not hold out indefinitely to see if this will happen. Give it until after the summer. If it turns out that Aimee is still with her current boyfriend at the beginning of the school year next fall, then you should not make yourself miserable waiting for the relationship to end.

You know you have choices, but I sense your heart just isn't into dating any other girls right now. Please don't be unhappy-- you have a lot going for you!

Take care!

[brian424]

hey kathy,

You are right. I dont think my heart is into dating any other girls right now either. It always seems like aimee is on my mind, even when she isnt that is when i seem to run into her and bam she is right back into my mind. During the summer, my only real contact with aimee will be through online. So if they do break up i was thinking about telling her that i would be there for her if she needed someone to talk to and giving her my new number. though i dont know if she would even call. My one class that was across the hall from aimee's has changed rooms and i was wondering if you could tell if i would be running into her anytime in the near future? if maybe i'll get a chance to say hello and maybe talk to her again.

also, a friend of mine was telling how his company is hiring for interns in the field that i'm studying and that most of their employees work remotely all around the US. So do you see me getting some kind of internship this summer, in my field of study?

thanks again

[Kathy N]

Brian,
Is there any other common interest between you and Aimee other than music? I hope you will send her the link to your music before the end of the school year. I was wondering if you might have another reason to e-mail her? Do you think she would tell you if she and her boyfriend are no longer together? If she should, or if you should hear of it then it would be appropriate to tell her that you "are there" for her if she needs someone to talk to.

I have a feeling that you will most likely see her somewhere around campus, though not as often and most likely when you are not expecting it. Don't let this throw you! You want to try to talk to her--

I sense that you will be busy this summer-- it isn't clear if it is with the internship or with your music. If you really work hard for the internship, it is a strong possibility.

Best wishes--please keep in touch to let us know how things are going!

[brian424]

hey kathy,

I gotta say you are really good. It amazes me how you knew that I haven't sent her the link yet when I didn't say anything about it.

I have contact with aimee on a social networking site, which is also great for promoting my music which is also on there. Last time she broke up with a guy, she took down all the pictures of that guy and changed her status to single. I was thinking of messaging her when i upload a new song or whatever. We also are both religious, both being christian, she has asked me to pray for members of her family when they have gotten sick and i have done the same. We have talked about different kinds of books we were reading. So there are other things i can message her about. Last time she broke up with a guy, i sent her a picture of tulips, her favorite flower and told her i was there for her if she needed someone to talk to and she told me how her boyfriend and her broke up and that the tulips really put a smile on her face. Plus if they break up, she wouldn't distance herself from me and would actually respond to me. lol

I want to record this one song I've been working on, a more sadder warmer sounding song, before i send her the link. That is why i haven't sent it yet. I'll probably send it too her by spring break which is next week. Hopefully she likes it and listens to it.

Do you think me sending this to her will open up the lines of communication again?

p.s. - also ran into her boyfriend by himself today. I didn't say anything to him, but he had a look of not having a care in the world. kind of like he was taking things for granted. lol

anyway thanks for the help

[Kathy N]

Brian,
It is really good that there are several interests that you share with Aimee. When you send her the link to your music, just make sure that you include a few other friends as well. For right now, if you send her messages about other common interests it might be a good idea to include others also.

Her boyfriend by himself!---hmmm! When I focus on the two of them, right now I sense that they are still together, but the bind is not as strong. Of course they can't be together all of the time on campus, but you have recently seen each of them alone. If you start to see one of them in places where they used to be together, take notice! It might mean something!

Take care!

[brian424]

hey kathy,

I'm actually having an exam tomorrow in the classroom that is across the hall from aimee and her boyfriend's class. So hopefully i will see her. Do you think that their bind is not as strong because of being busy with school or because they are drifting farther apart?

thanks for the help,

[Kathy N]

Brian,
I would say both to the reasons that the bond is not as strong--school and they might be drifting apart. Good luck with the exam tomorrow--you should do well-- just don't let your expectations for seeing Aimee tomorrow affect your focus on the exam.

You may observe something tomorrow pertaining to the two of them, but it might not be enough to go on to determine the status of their relationship--

Good luck!

[brian424]

hey kathy,

you were right again. I saw both of them. I think they had an exam cause he came out first and waited in the hall for her. When she came out she looked in my direction, i was in the classroom across the hall and was talking to someone and facing her direction. So i dont know if she saw me or what. I just kind of find it funny that he always has to wait for her, like he is trying to prevent any other guys from talking to her but constantly hovering over her. o well, i know i just have to wait to see how things turn out this summer. It is only a month or two away for us college students. lol

Do you think that aimee and mike may break up in the beginning or end of summer?

[Kathy N]

Brian,
Do you happen to know what Aimee and Mike might have in common other than school? If they don't have many of the same interests to share, that could place a burden on the relationship. How does he react when she hangs out with her girl friends? Do they interact with a group of friends? If he keeps her isolated from her friends and doesn't like her to do things on her own, this is not a good sign.

I am getting a good feeling about the social network website. If you start to communicate with Aimee (include a couple of other friends) about your music and other common interests, it could "break the ice". (Sorry, I failed to answer that question yesterday.) If you happen to see her at school but you are a distance away, you could smile and wave to her. That would be a good gesture of friendship.

It really isn't possible to tell at what point they might break up. It is important to remember that the future is not etched in stone. If they don't have a lot that they can enjoy doing together and school will be on hiatus for the summer, this could possibly cause Aimee to start taking a good hard look at their relationship.

If you should see her "site" updated, her status changed, etc. If she indicates that she is interested in dating or "friends", then it would be appropriate for you to move forward.

I sincerely hope that this will be the case! You obviously care so very much for her and you have a lot of common interests. If the two of you should get together, at this point I would say that you would have a very good chance for it to be a lasting relationship.

Take care--

[brian424]

hey kathy,

I don't know what Aimee and Mike's have in common other then then school. To me it doesnt seem like much. When she first got together with him the way she used to talk to me about him was like he was a rebound, but if that was the case then this has been a long rebound. lol In all honesty, since i've been running into both of them, I have never seen both of them interact with a group of friends. It really is like he keeps her isolated. I remember at the beginning of this semester i saw him walk out of that one classroom and was waiting for her in the hall and she was explaining something to one of her classmates and he kept coming back to check on her, i guess to see what was taking so long. What do you think this could mean?

I'll try to upload that song by the end of this week and send the link to aimee too. Hope she likes it and it opens up for more communication.

I hope she does take a good hard look at their relationship and sees that he isnt right for her. If she updates her site i'll move forward. I hope that is the case too and you're right i do care a lot for her, i just feel great when talking to her or just seeing her smile. She can even make me smile when i'm having a bad day.