Inspiration and attraction

[mountaingoat30]

Hi Kathy. Thanks for your reply. I will keep my eyes open. Any idea what type of person I should be looking out for? I tended to focus on bigger, athletic men....But in the last week, I've spotted a small, skinny cute boy-ish type in his 'mid 20's that has caught my eye. Never met face to face, but I sent him a message last Monday, and am wondering if there's any possibility of hearing back.

Otherwise, my main criteria is that said person would take good care of themselves (and share my athletic goals), be LTR minded, be up for road/camping trips, and have a desire to give back to the community either through career and or volunteer work.

[Kathy N]

When trying to focus on the situation I really can't get a physical description, other the image of someone with dark hair. It is important to remember that there is no one person who can fulfill all of your needs. When you meet someone who shares your ideals and meets the majority of your requirements, you will have a good match. Even if you can't agree on everything (I am thinking that this person might not be so much into athletics), you will have respect for one another's interests.

As for your writing career, you have a very good sense for what is needed for character development. Have you ever considered pursuing work as a writer for a soap opera? There are several different writing levels needed, such as character development and script breakdown once the storyline has been developed. I sense that you could become successful along that area.

Please keep in touch to let us know how things are going for you. It is really great to participate in the forums where we can connect and help each other--

[mountaingoat30]

Thanks.

Two weeks ago, I encountered a guy named Eric online (skinny, reddish brown hair, mid 20's). I don't normally go online, but I was just sort of checking things out. I probably wouldn't have bothered replying to his profile, if I didn't encounter his blog. I liked what he had to say about himself, and was probably more interested him in terms of his personality, maturity and values, than I was in him physically (not that he wasn't good looking at all). He sort of seems like the type of person I'd like to get to know at this stage of my life, since I've given more and more thought to the person I'd like to attract.

I sent him an e-mail in December 22nd, but am a little awkward expressing myself on e-mail to someone whom I haven't met, so it may have come on a little too wordy or strong. Not that I was showering him with gratuitious affection or what have you.... Anyway, I was a little disappointed when he didn't return my message, but do you think it's worth it to try again? It's rare to find someone who seems this self-aware. If I do try again, what would you recommend I say in the e-mail?

Happy new year!!

[Kathy N]

During the holidays people are very busy. It could be possible that he has not yet read your message or had the time to respond. You could try again and tell him essentially the same thing that you wondered about your message. You could say that you didn't mean to come on strong or too elaborately, but that you did admire his ideals and would appreciate the opportunity to get to know him.

He might be a bit cautious, so if you could correspond by e-mail a few times you would have a better sense if you want to arrange a meeting. If the meeting takes place in a comfortable setting such as a coffee shop or restaurant, you should both feel comfortable.

You obviously care about his feelings, and this points out that you are a very thoughtful person! Happy New Year to you too!

[mountaingoat30]

Hi Candace:

Well in regards to the guy mentioned above, he did add me on MSN, but that's about it. Chatting online is awkward because I understand that often people will have their window open but will be too busy chatting with others are doing things around their apartment to reply. Anyway, I heard from his blog that he is feeling under the weather, and is asking his friends to send him e-mails. Is this worth pursuing?

Oddly enough, I had forgotten about him for a while, than thought about him pretty intensely the last couple of days using some positive visualization...around the same time he posted this on his blog, and he rarely updates his blog.

Also, I had been thinking about my older "muse" recently. I had heard some gossip about him that wasn't positive, but I have had some evidence to suggest that this gossip was either exaggerated or completely fabricated. What do you see?

[mountaingoat30]

Hi sorry, didn't mean to address previous query to anyone in particular. Spoke with this guy (eric) yesterday evening for a bit. Problem with stuff like MSN is that it's easy to get distracted so our conversation was friendly but brief. Hopefully our difference in age (6 years) isn't an issue. Just wondering if it's worth pursuing. I know from his blog that he's looking for something serious, and I seem to meet all the romantic/personality characteristics, although I don't know about the physical qualities. Any advice from anyone would be appreciated!

[Kathy N]

You have very good intuition about people. You seem to really want to give this a try! You might want to communicate a bit longer before you decide if you want to meet in person. Six years difference is not much, especially when the both of you are mature. If you share the same ideals and enjoy spending time together that is what is important. Physical appearance should be only secondary. It is important to remember than no one person can fulfill all of our needs. If you share the same beliefs and principles about the important issues, you should find that you have a lot in common.

Best wishes,