help with an Ex ?

[Kathy N]

Samantha,
Since you have told him about your desire to work things out and you are still living together, it does appear that there is hope for a reconciliation. Has he indicated that he plans to make other living arrangements? You have these two small children who will need both of their parents.

You have asked for forgiveness and you are giving him space to make a decision. Perhaps couples counseling might be a step toward a reconciliation? You are letting him know that you want to do all that you can to reach a total reconciliation.

The best of luck to you!

[Kathy N]

Samantha,

Are you prepared to take the children and go away for awhile? This could present a financial problem for you. He doesn't seem to be willing to be the one who goes away for awhile?

If time apart is what he is asking for, then you are trying to give this to him. Somehow I get the sense that he is punishing you for something which is far more than what you deserve? There is a possibility that there is someone else in the picture-- this is a relationship possibility that might not work out for him.

So for now, just try to give him the space that he is asking for, but continue to remind him that you do want to work things out.

Best wishes,

[Kathy N]

Sadly, it seems that there is someone else who he is interested in. Right now he has no desire to try to work things out. Things might not work out with this person who he is interested in though. In the meantime, don't feel that you have to go away and take your children if you don't have someplace to go. If he isn't discussing financial support, that is something that you need to get worked out before either of you make a move.

If either of you plan to move out of the house, please consult an attorney as soon as possible. You need to be assured that you will receive financial support for your children. To continue living together while he is being so mean is not good for you or your children. You may need a "trial separation".

I know you have hope that things will work out, but it is important to have a plan of action in case the situation is no longer bearable.

Best wishes,

[Kathy N]

He might be thinking that he can pursue a relationship with someone who he is interested in. However, I strongly sense that his plans for a new relationship might not work out. It may take some time for him to realize how much he misses what he had with you and the children.

Right now he doesn't really know what he wants. In the meantime, you might do well to make some long range plans for yourself and your children. It may be some months before he starts thinking about what he gave up.

Best wishes,

[Kathy N]

Samantha,

It is good to know that you are feeling better about things. However, your ex shouldn't get off free without having to provide some financial support for the kids. This is something that you will need to pursue at some point.

As you work to rebuild your life you will realize that you might be better off if he doesn't come back-- You will be stronger and you won't want the problems that you had in the past with him to resurface. People really don't change all that much.

Best wishes to you,