Friendship Problems

[kitana57]

Hi there,
Lately it appears I cannot make a decent friend to save my life. What I wish to know is should I just go with my gut instinct and drop the whole lot of them ( especially one in particular) or I should forgive and forget? Any guidance on the subject will always be appreciated:)

Thanks again in advance

[Kathy N]

A good friend is someone who you enjoy being with. It is about sharing the good times and the bad, and truly enjoying one another's company. There are some friends who often take advantage and consider their own needs before those of others. If these are the types of friends that you are encountering, you might want to put some distance between them. If you are not available when they call and expect you to do something for them, they might move on to a new friend.

If a friend is behaving in a manner that is truly out of character, there might be an underlying situation. Only you can decide if you want to continue the friendship and try to help, but you must not allow this friend to manipulate you and made demands on your time.

Because you are a giving and caring person, it is hard for you to sever these ties. You deserve to be happy and not allow anyone to drag you down.

Best wishes,

[kitana57]

Hi Kathy,
I didn't mean to ask such a stupid question lol, but I am glad you answered and everything you said made alot of sense. It is exactly what I needed to know and I feel a bit better for it thank you so much:)

[Kathy N]

Please feel free to ask about whatever is on your mind-- the forum is for helping one another-- It would be safe to say that most all of us have had the kind of friends that you are referring to. I used to attract some "friends" that who I would soon learn didn't have many other friends. Through my training I have learned to protect myself from those who were draining on my emotions. For example, when a friend called continually to tell me about everything that is wrong in her life, I tried to get her to help herself. She really didn't want to make those changes, but she knew what I expected from her. I still hear from her, but just not as often. In fact that has worked with two other friends, one who seemed to continually need favors that she was capable of doing for herself, and another who just wanted to vent on an ongoing basis.

If you can project a positive energy of a healthy attitude toward these people, they will pick up on it and know that you don't want to "play these games". It has just been within the past 4 or 5 months that I have been able to do this successfully, and I have noticed a difference in all of these people. I really hope this works for you-- you most likely will still see your friends, but just not as often.

Take care-- and please let us know how this works for you!