Are we meant to be?

[Moonwillow1011]

I am in love with a man 13 yrs my junior. I have loved him for 5 yrs. He's had a series of bad relationships, the last one was with a woman who did not give him the love and affection he truly needed. We became close physically and spiritually for the first three years we knew each other(he was with her on and off), but two yrs ago I moved to NH and a year later he moved to AK. We have kept in touch sporadically and were supposed to meet the weekend of 9/9-9/12, as we were both going back to state we met for a visit, but we didn't. He has not contacted me in at least two weeks, (I left him a message a week before I left with a contact phone #). He is still in the State we met for vacation and I am wondering if he has lost any and all felling for me. I have always thought we were meant to be together, he admitted that we have a connection between us, but now I am not so sure. Is there anything that I need to know in order to "move on" if that is what is the right thing to do. Or is he just in a state of fear right now and should I remain patient. I don't want to put any part of my love life on hold for any reason if this is a "dead end." Pls. Help!

[Kathy N]

I sense that you already know what you need to do with regard to this situation. It seems like this guy never could totally commit to you. He was with another woman on and off during the time he was first with you. Then he tells you that she did not give him the love and affection that he needed. RED FLAG! Do you want to be with someone who you know to be also involved with someone else?

Then you made arrangements to meet and he did not follow through. Another RED FLAG! He is otherwise involved. He most likely does have some feelings for you, but he doesn't seem to have the ability to stay focused on one woman for any length of time.

The age difference could also be a factor. It might not be apparent now, but could be more of a problem in the future. Don't wait for him or plan to meet with him again. This could only result in more hurt. You need to be with someone who will treat you with the consideration and respect that you deserve. So just go on about your life and you are likely to meet someone where you now live who will be right for you.

Best wishes,